I had one window where the screen was missing. After the first time my parents caught me, they moved one of those huge garden spiders in front of it. The way those spiders work is they basically set up shop in the same place every night. If you destroy it's web and put the leftover web in a new spot, they'll rebuild in that spot.

The next time I snuck out, I slowly forced the creaky window open enough for me to squeeze out head first. Climb on my antique desk, start making my way out. And BAM! FULL FRONTAL SPIDER WEB + SPIDER ON MY FACE.

I do not like spiders. I do not like bugs. I screamed as loud as I could without making a single sound as I tumbled headfirst into a bush. My friends, who were waiting in the car up the street, got scared and left (this was before we all had cell phones). I had to sit outside, covered in spider web, convinced the spider was still on me, for a good 20 minutes until they came back around and found me.

My parents also planted a fat rose bush outside all my windows the next week.

Not fun.

But I'm totally going to do this to my kids. You want to be a rebel, motherfucker? I'm going to make you WORK for it!