Yup, I made that mistake, you guys. I started arguing with people on Reddit. BAD IDEA.
Basically the Sin toxins were at mass levels after someone said "Black women are considered the least desirable women to date, it sucks but that's what people think and I don't like it and I don't know why."
Now, the obvious answer to "I don't know why I don't like people saying that Black women being undesirable" would be, well, because it's racist, right?
WELL APPARENTLY NOT.
For you see, it is preference to literally refuse dating a specific race. It's totally(!) not based on things like social constructs and what our culturally formed definitions for beauty are, no way! "Preferences" and social preconceptions are totally divorced from one another! Also, it totally isn't fetishization in the opposite direction when a girl comes up to you out of nowhere and tells you she's "never been with a black guy before, would you like to be my first"! (Which, by the way, if you're coming onto me for the stereotypes I think you're coming onto me for, you are about to be disappointed on so many levels, ma'am, you wouldn't even believe)
Anyways, tell me I'm not crazy Hubski, I'm not just freaking out over nothing, am I.
Great post! Online dating in general sometimes unfairly gets a bad wrap, but most people don't realize that over 40% of new relationships world-wide are started ONLINE! There are a lot of good paid sites, and a few great free ones if you know where to look. For those who are more interested in Asian singles, the best truly free site we've found is www.Filipino4U.com There are also some good paid sites like Match or eHarmony if you are willing to pay monthly fees.
I don't think you're crazy, but I also don't think that most people are very aware of their own prejudices or even that those prejudices are coming through in their actions. I'm not a fan of Roseanne, but I did think that this episode dealt with the topic pretty well, especially given the time it was released: Basically the son is in a school play and is excited that he's required to kiss a girl until he finds out that the role will be played by a black girl, but he doesn't tell his parents that, only that his teacher has given him the ultimatum of playing the role or leaving the play. Roseanne thinks this is unfair and goes to talk to the teacher about it, who believes that Roseanne is upset because of the girl's race. The family then examines their own prejudices and how that affects their relationships with people in their lives. I don't blame people for having prejudices (because we all have them) but I do think that the responsible thing to do is to examine the motivations behind those prejudices and to try to move past them. And of course, I don't expect others to see things that way, though I hope that more people will.
you've got to separate the artist from their work.
that's a discussion i don't know if i'm qualified to take part in. Or at least, not drunk enough to take part in.
You can fix at least one of those problems in a night! :D
Well, I say make a thread about it tomorrow around noon, and see who digs in on the discussion. it's the kind of content I'd like to see, and hear people's thoughts upon. If you can find Stephen Fry's "Wagner and Me" documentary, it's a great watch and deals with this topic pretty extensively (frankly, a lot of media concerning Wagner deals with this topic).
Hm sounds like a plan. Oh Wagner, always causing a fuss. I haven't heard of the documentary, I'll be sure to check it out!
You're not crazy. I did have this argument with someone else on Hubski a while back though. I got you back, 8bit. It's racism. I especially hate it when people are willing to categorically state that they just don't find people of a certain race unattractive but aren't willing to admit that this constitutes judging and dismissing an entire race of people, which is pretty much textbook racism. People don't like to admit that they have racist ideas. It's a big harsh word and when you say "Well that's racist," the person hears "You're racist and you're a bad person and because you're racist in this way that means you must also be racist in every single other way possible," which is how "But I have black friends" or "But I voted for Obama" or whatever comes up. People see it as "you are totally evil." The evil comes in when you refuse to see the problem and refuse to fix it.
Holy shit you're absolutely right. While having a few drinks with my dad and his girlfriend a while back, we somehow got on the topic of Haiti. His girlfriend started spewing nonsense about Haitians in the U.S.--things like how they come here, don't work, collect welfare, and a lot of other nonsense. Eventually she just comes out and says "Haitians are lazy." We start to have it out, until she starts pulling the "well are you calling me a racist?" and I had to reply "yes, yes I'm calling you a racist." It was like she baited me to cross some line in the sand that removes any civility from the discussion, and the rest of the night turned into my dad trying to defend her from this accusation, tell me I'm way out of line, and justify how "she's talking about culture, not race." I think the thing is, racist people have been kind of backed into a corner. They used to be able to just come out and say the things they felt about other people, and now they have to tiptoe around around people's sensibilities by using dog whistle terminology to provide plausible deniability for when they get caught. It's like all they got from the civil rights movement and exposure to other cultures is a sense that they need to mimic human decency, and not because racism is bad, but because it's really bad to be called a racist.People don't like to admit that they have racist ideas. It's a big harsh word and when you say "Well that's racist," the person hears "You're racist and you're a bad person and because you're racist in this way that means you must also be racist in every single other way possible," which is how "But I have black friends" or "But I voted for Obama" or whatever comes up. People see it as "you are totally evil."
Eh, what a weak sentence. Passive voice allows the writer here to say something as if it were fact without backing it up or specifying who considered. 'People' here likely means the author himself, and his attempt to provide a rationale for his own preference (or bigotry?) is only justified in his mind by an apparent bandwagon - one which the general reddit audience could probably approve of. So, rendering the guy's sentence into an active process: Yay grammar. Shucks, I feel sorry for the guy, because that really takes "there's other fish in the sea" and turns it into a pretty small fishbowl. Yeah, it's shortsighted to categorically put a potential partner (or hire, for that matter) through a process of elimination based on things they can't control, but people do it. What I'm trying to say is don't get stung by the hive mind. The internet provides a wonderful place to anonymously discuss sensitive subjects, but you gotta take it in stride. There are shitlords everywhere."Black women are considered the least desirable women to date, it sucks but that's what people think and I don't like it and I don't know why."
"I consider black women the least desirable to date, it sucks but that's what I think and I don't like it and I don't know why."
To be fair, this thread doesn't provide the context of the original discussion. They were probably talking about this blog post or a related article which actually breaks down the statistics of online dating site replies (on okcupid specifically) by race. This diagram shows what he was probably talking about: Of course I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt, he could be a complete shithead.