I think I have experienced periods of genuine trust (albeit brief periods) in the few relationships ive had so far, but the majority as you suggest have been quite "space sharing" i suppose.. You're certainly right that making yourself completely vulnerable is a proactive way to earn trust, simply by showing trust to your partner. I'm just wondering how one does that, with all the subtext and hidden meaning that you mentioned (and I so dearly despise), it feels stupid to offer a direct and straightforward message like that to be speared instantly, taken advantage of.
Thing is, it takes a while to learn the ropes and nobody ever masters it. The only thing you can do is consciously enjoy every part of the process because it's unavoidable and leads to great things. It's totally a platitude, but it's also true: 'tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
Agreed, I guess i need me a bit more of the ol' patience.