I guess, three thoughts. And I read every word of your post. 1. Echoing galen, I grew up in a rich (the richest?) suburb in Texas. By the time I turned 10 we had a house, but it was the smallest in the neighborhood. Badge of pride. All my friends, literally every single one, was much richer than me. Another badge. What I think is this: I'd rather be me than them. I'd rather eat pasta 23 nights in a row -- hell, I'm eating pasta right now -- than whatever the hell it is rich people eat. Maybe that's irrational but it's shaped by experience. 2. You should really, really read The Dharma Bums. I think it would do interesting things to your headspace. 3. Completely forgot my third thought. I'm listening to Revolver, sipping cheap sangria and halfheartedly writing a research paper. Extremely peaceful night. I hope you have some peaceful nights ahead.