"Smash your keyboard against the shower" "Lights never change" "I always sound the same" "Where do you go when you end up in Away?" "Dress in a dress" "Create friction between two emotions" "Lay on the floor and stare at soda"
ALLITERATION (pretend I stood on a desk in a big office and yelled that cause that's what I want to do). I'm actually holding back quite a bit because I like seeing (hearing?) other replies. But I love sitting here thinking of ridiculous "vignettes of sentences". I think what I appreciate most about them is that it's mostly something you see/hear/say and then just throw away. There is no pressure to make up something that will make people think you're deep. "Take your apple" "If a fish cries do they know it?" "Was Groucho always wearing a mask?" "Is your car alive?" "Pens Penis" "Last one in is the greatest person alive!" "No president has ever been to space" "Make a lasting impression by beheading your ego" "Cow milk?" "Television rots your brain in a good way" "I recommend 30 shots of kindness, taken intravenously" "My anger gives you power" "Knowledge is worthless, money is all that matters" "Don't look a gift horse in the two bushes" "Hurry up and breathe"
The other day my friend was complaining about salt bagels, asking why they exist, and I said "So deer can lick their wounds." I love making new, barely-sensical idioms - they only appear to make sense if not read too deeply, but most everyone who hears them understands where the phrase is coming from/what it is referencing."Don't look a gift horse in the two bushes"
I have two for you. 1 from tonight: "Sounds like a rock star!" Comes from kind of combining "Sounds good" and "You're a rockstar." Like, "I totally approve of all of these things [that you are doing]!" I mean, rock stars, by definition, sound good, so I feel like this is an easy one. 2 just remembered this one I made up on the spot sucks more balls than a vacuum in a cotton factory