veen's quote made me sad, because I strive to be a deliberate person. Whatever I'm going to do, I'll do on purpose and with the best knowledge of my 'why.' But then your fortune cookie's wisdom made deliberate intention something to be handled gently, leaving the future open to possibilities outside of those initial conditions in which a choice or plan of action is made.
There is a difference between deliberation and control. Control is the ability to change - deliberation comes from the desire to change. If you have some control over a situation, you can deliberately go in the preferred direction. You can be a deliberate person but not have control of the situation. Or have control but no deliberation. It reminds me of the Serenity Prayer: accept what you cannot change, have the courage to change what you can and have the wisdom to know the difference. What I think she is trying to say is that regardless of whether you can, you shouldn't try to control everything. That doesn't mean you can't be deliberate - just leave some room for the unexpected, for change.