To me it means immortality. My kids are going to live on, shaped in a large part by me. I see a lot of myself in my kids, and it makes me proud. My kids' accomplishments are my accomplishments, and that is awesome. My 15 year-old son is now taller than me, and that makes me feel good. To think that my children's accomplishments may outstrip my own is just the greatest thought of all.

The mistakes are hard. Finding the right level of toughness/strictness while leaving lots of room for growth and freedom is a hard balance to find. I tend to err on the side of being too lax, compensated for by their mother's tendency to be too strict. Somehow, they're turning out ok. Better than ok.

I'm separated right now and so I don't see them on a daily basis, and that's hard. I'm missing the small day-to-day interactions and I worry about how that will affect them, and me, long-term. It is what it is and I try to be the best dad I can regardless.

My dad left when I was 17 and I hardly saw him afterwards. I think that's too bad. I think we could have been good friends. I don't want to lose close contact with my kids, and the awareness of my experience helps shape my decisions. It's a mixed blessing.

All 3 are teens now. I'm waiting for the time one of them tells me to fuck off. It's bound to happen and it won't feel too good.