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comment by Cumol
Cumol  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, tell me a story, joke or parable that you love from your religion or culture.

One of my favorite aspects of Arabic/Muslim culture is the mourning when somebody dies.

We have a 3 day wake when a person dies. The family that lost a member pick a place (usually the yard of a family member) and set it up with chairs, usually in a circle and prepare for people to come. And the whole city comes. Every family, even if you didn't really know the person, but in support of the family, half the city shows up. When they enter, their close relatives sit in the entrance and people come, offer their condolences and find a seat.

They are offered a small cup of really good and strong coffee (arabic mocca with cloves and cardamon, try it), then they are offered a date (usually Majhoul dates, soft and sweet) and then a cup of water.

Even if you do not like those, people usually accept out of respect. Then they sit for as long as they wish, talk to the people around them, about whatever they want to talk and then leave.

As you can imagine, it is very tiring for the family as it goes for 3 days for 18 hours a day (most people show up in the evening/at night). The family is invited for lunch and dinner by other large families because they know they might not have time to cook and also out of support.

I think it is a very strong and beautiful sense of community, specially in such hard times...

When my grandfather died, I was in 7th grade, it was my first family death. I was put on coffee duty with my cousin who I didn't get along so well back then.

We did it for 3 days, non-stop and we really connected. Coffee is usually prepared on an open fire, so we were sitting there hours and hours preparing coffee and talking. Of course we had to test-drink every batch and never went to sleep.

I always like this tradition, I hope you enjoyed my story :)





Imarreteet23  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Wow, us Jews actually have something very similar! In the Jewish faith, when someone dies, the immediate family picks a room, sets up chairs, and sits down to receive visitors. It's called "Sitting Shiva." They do this for seven days, and aren't allowed to cook their own meals, leave the house unless absolutely necessary, or really do much of anything. Everything is provided for them.

It's an incredible thing. Basically the whole community comes to talk, console, reminisce about the departed, or just "schmooze." From what I've seen, it really helps the mourners bear the grief. In all honesty, it's one of my favorite parts of Judaism.

But what's really cool is that, from what you're saying, Muslims actually do something similar! Our cultures aren't all that different, in a lot of ways. :)

Dominique  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I apologize since this isn't really a story or anything, but I have a question. In your religion, is it considered "bad luck" to be brought back to life using CPR? As an EMT, I once responded to a home where a family member passed away but the family begged us not to do CPR and said it was just their time to go. They didn't have a DNR, so you can imagine this created a bit of an issue.

I'm just curious really and I haven't found the forum or the right person to ask without coming off rude in some way.

Cumol  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I might be the wrong person to ask as I am not a muslim, anymore.

But I never heard about such a situation.

What I do know is Qada qa Qadar the predestination of Allah. Wikipedia described Qadar as follows:

    Qadar is one of the aspects of aqidah. Some Muslims believe that the divine destiny is when God wrote down in the Preserved Tablet ("al-Lauḥ al-Maḥfūẓ") all that has happened and will happen, which will come to pass as written.

So according to that, God already "wrote down" (think Death Note) that a person is going to die. So I could imagine that some people could see CPR as something that defies gods will. Funnily, they didn't think it through as it is also possible that God meant for the person to have a near death experience and then be brought back to life through CPR.

Sadly, many people use this concept to surrender to things that happen to them. As in "this and that happen? God intended it to be like that" and then they stop questioning it,

This connects also to the concept of Tawakkul which is the "Trust in God's will". Muslims says that, if you encounter a challenge, you should do something about it and then leave to the hands of god. This usually gives them a feeling of relief as they hand responsibility to a higher power. And when things go bad, then its "the will of god".

But thinking about it, Tawakkul is a nice mind trick to ease on yourself...

I am getting carried away :D I hope I was able to answer your question, partially.

DC-3  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's a wonderful tradition. I love how arabic customs alwayys seem so much more natural and spiritual than our westernequivalents. I assume this helped your relationship with your cousin?

Killerhurtz  ·  3452 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Honestly, I love the lore and customs of most religions.

It's the extremist nutjobs that make me irk.

But religions, being the sum of hundreds (if not thousands) of years of humanity in all it's facets, good or bad, certainly have a lot to teach us.

Cumol  ·  3455 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, it did help our relationship. We still disagree on many levels but we treat each other with respect :)

There are some traditions that are really beautiful because they are universal, independent of the current "age". While others are absolutely stupid.