I'm right there with you. I'd love to be a scout, traveling the furthest reaches of the galaxy. Even if it meant giving up contact with the human race, I'd happily do it.
This has always been a dream for me. Unfortunately reality is cruel.. The amount of intelligence and drive required to be an astronaut is insane. You have to go all in for a minuscule chance of space. You have to convince a whole lot of people you're worth trusting with millions of dollars of equipment. I guess we could always make insane amounts of money and start our own Space X? That's realistic, right?
This is why I love films like Gattaca and Interstellar: the feeling that I get when these fictional astronauts is the closest I'll likely ever come to experiencing the divorce of the Earth's pull, the weightlessness of space, and the lure of the great emptiness that lies beyond our atmosphere. I don't know about you, but gravity wears on me. I'd rather float than feel crushed by the weight of the world. Funny: I never pictured myself as Atlas, but there you go.
Ah we think alike. Interstellar felt like a huge weight on my shoulders. I had to decompress for 45 minutes in my car contemplating my life choices before driving home. The scope, the freedom, the overwhelming unknown, is all so enticing. As for gravity.. well a large part of my job is walking around with a 45-100lbs backpack. I know soul crushing weight all too well. Atlas must be one mean son of a gun.