I bought one back when Clinton was talking about gun reform. I had always wanted one, for end-of-the-world scenarios. Bought a .22 pistol. Don't laugh. I figured the ammo would be easiest to come by post-apocolypse, and that I could be a good enough shot to make a .22 deadly. Furthermore it wasn't deadly enough that if someone got it from me and shot me I would be ok. Double-sided logic? Maybe.

I was in Florida at the time. I had to sign papers and wait three days. A few weeks later it got stolen from my house by some painters. Reported it to the police. I was so fucking ashamed that I had bought a handgun and didn't secure it enough that it got stolen, and could end up being used in a crime. The police came to my house and I told them the story. I was absolutely shocked how sympathetic they were. One of them shook his head and said in a calm sympathetic voice, "you buy a gun to protect your home and someone takes that, that's terrible." He was telling me I was a homeowner and a gunowner and that I was the same as him. I found it somewhat disturbing.

Even so, I bought another gun, the same kind. I still thought it was the right gun. I used to practice rolling out of bed, taking the gun from its case, loading the clip, and shooting imaginary bad guys. I got pretty smooth at it.

My first time at the range was with a Florida wildlife officer. I hit a very high hit percentage. I has a high agility score at the time as a juggler and video game player. He told me I was a natural. I shot several guns and fell in love with the 9mm. It was the perfect amount of kick, serious and enough to sting a little bit, like you gotta shoot it like you mean it. I never liked the .22 again. I sold it a few years later when I had my first child. Didn't want a gun in the house.

Now that my kids are grown, I'd like a 9mm. I'd keep it in a safe. Well stocked with ammo, for the zombie invasion.

Interesting Norway fact: I live in Norway, so if I want one I need to join a gun club, take a safety course, be known by the group for at least 3 months, and have the president sign that I can buy a gun. How do you like for psychological screening? I think it's brilliant.