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It doesn't have to be an identity. There are people who are loud'n'proud vegetarians and there are people who don't eat meat. It's a lot easier now to eat gluten-free than it ever has been before and a whole lot of clever people have put a whole lot of effort into making gluten-free baking less of a laughable contradiction in terms than it once was. And while your aunt may be an idiot, at least her heart is in the right place, right?