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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3436 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Who is doing this to my internet?

Gremlins are doing this to the internet. There is a series of interconnected tubes deep in the Earth's crust where you can find cities of gremlins tinkering with phone lines, radio towers, web pipelines, data centers and related. There is, in fact, a concrete tube, encircled with Vibranium, where all the information of the entire Earth's internet goes through, and the gremlins grab the information as it passes through, and reshape it using gremlin magic, and they wear 3d glasses while doing so because this particular magic requires them to wear the 3d glasses in order to control the flow of data. These glasses give them a glimpse of powers that make their hairless bodies tremble with giggling, nefarious delight.

In these cities of gremlins deep below the Earth's crust, there is a power elite of gremlins who sit in plush human hide chairs and smoke cigars made of the bones of humans, and they are carefully manipulating the control of information on the surface far above, have been doing so since the time of Benjamin Franklin when he first channeled the power of the sky through lightning (they funded his research, you know) for a nefarious purpose no one but they know. They can see far into the future, and have much power.

Gremlins are messing up the internet, man.