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comment by Shubhang
Shubhang  ·  3424 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How to become a resilient, hard-working person?

All right hard work is a not-so-clear concept for most of us. I mean "hard work"? Am I supposed to do some blue collar stuff? What does it mean?

Let's break it down. Let's break down what we feel during our journey into "hard-work".

Stage 1:

What happens when you attack a challenging problem. You think, you re-think, slowly it drives you out of your comfort zone and now it starts to pain. Your body recognizes you are in pain and tries to put you off it. (Oh I don't wanna do it, so boooring. Oh wait the answer key would be here somewhere. Let me check my friends' code). But our brain is curious too. And if the problem is interesting enough to you you will persevere. You will look at it from different angles and you keep at it, until you reach stage 2

Stage 2:

Now you have tried a lot of possibilities and yet you are unable to wrap your head around it, you start to get agitated and irritated. "WTF man! Why why???" You'll start getting super frustrated. If your grandmom was looking at you now she would tell you to stop and take a break. But that problem is still crucial and interesting to you. Wise men would tell you to break the problem in super tiny chunks and go over the above process again, draw things out, start explaining your solution to yourself etc. etc. You start questioning everything you ever did trying to find a root cause. And when there is none in sight, anger seeps in and you start banging things (Fuck this shit, why is there a seg fault in a cout statement AAAAAHHHHH). After all the banging, hatred and blaming is over you move onto stage 3

Stage 3:

This is a very depressing stage, you are sad, you have tried everything and you have become emotionally very vulnerable. Even small things hurt you. You start thinking you are dumb and useless and probably all this is not meant for you. You become sadder and sadder due to helplessness. That is why it is not recommended that you traverse this stage alone. Make sure you have someone working with you on this. This is also the time most people take a break (take a nap best thing possible). But if you keep at it or come back and do it or you ask someone for desperate help you move onto stage 4

Stage 4:

You finally solve your problem and the deeper the stage you were in the more happiness you feel (and also the most exp you gain). This surge of dopamine is what makes you go through the whole process again. Take up another interesting problem and dig at it again.

You NEEED to go through this process multiple times and love it! Go through it and you will start appreciating hard work. Start looking forward to frustration and the above signs. This will tell you that you are getting closer to solve it, turn it into a game. Ohh I am in stage 3, shit if I solve it I would get butt loads of EXP.

SO to summarize(or TL;DR):

1.Find a interesting problem and (it should mean more than just that grade on your report card, else you will quit in the early stages)

2. Be conscious of frustration and start to love it. (If you are not getting frustrated you are not learning- I use this as my mantra)

3. Keep practicing and experiencing going through it again and again. (Hey, hard work is an acquired taste)





user-inactivated  ·  3424 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What if I'm so used to quitting that I never reached stage 4? What if I never had anything I care about finished? What's the way for me to reset my mind on the matter?

Shubhang  ·  3424 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Then you are not interested in what you are trying to do. You really don't want to solve that problem.

So get interested. Internet is your best friend here. Reason out WHY do I need to do this? And convince yourself why.

If you are not convinced that this problem is important to you, you are never gonna do it.

user-inactivated  ·  3424 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're right.

The thing is that I'm terrified of success, because reaching it might mean that I might fail, and that'd be hurtful, so I often convince myself to do something that can't possibly hurt me instead... like eating a lot of sweets or sitting my ass off in front of the screen. Human mind is an amazing thing, but sometimes it lays path to Hell with its good intentions.

But laying it off on my mind is shifting responsibilities. I'm the person responsible for how I perform; whether I succeed in an achievement that's more than internal is not entirely up to me, but what I can - and must - do is do my best.

I am interested, and I must also remind myself of that, and of that it's better to fail at achieving goals than to not try. Thank you for reminding me of that.