I hope I was able to help a bit. If you don't mind me asking, is there a particular goal you have in mind?
A few. I want to get back to writing: I love it but am afraid of failure in the field. I want to get scholarship in the upcoming university, because it would mean less financial dependence on my parents. Overall, I want to achieve the life goals I've set to myself - languages, general informal education, travel, manual craft and programming, said writing... If I want any of that, I'm going to have to prime myself early.
It sounds to me like you are doing well! Try different motivational ideas from here and elsewhere, remix into your own, and you'll be alright. But you're already doing that! Go ahead and write - but unless you're willing to risk everything on it, perhaps consider a career that you would at least halfway enjoy and would allow you to continue to write as a hobby.
Thank you. I'm going to get education in linguistics, which will lead me to a possible career of either translation or education, depending on the profile I choose. I'm still figuring out whichever I like best, but I got it covered. If anything, I'll use the experience the build languages of my own, which is one of my dreams.