That's really good. I like how the sense of pace is breathy and doesn't stop. It's so different than how I write. I really like the question: who hit the beauty out of you?
Thank you. I was rereading really, really old poems of mine and I used to write a shit ton of sonnets and villanelles. It's funny because by the time I had to write villanelles for creative writing classes I had decided I hated them. I kind of want to experiment with going back to form for a while, except - oh, I also don't, haha. I am pretty sure "III" was one of 2 or 3 poems in a set that were my first ever accepted for publication. To be honest, although it has its flaws, I am still pretty proud of it. If I am fair I think it sounds better read out loud than just laid out on the page - and if I am super honest I mean "when I read it out loud," specifically. I read it to a poetry group the fish-man and I were both part of once, someone told me after that if he (fish) wasn't interested after a poem like that, not only was he stupid, but they (the speaker) would gladly try and entertain me instead!
The love I have for my fish is a strange and different kind of love. I have indeed turned him down in the past because I did not think that what he was offering was what I wanted - and there have been other times I have tried to take that back. He is a very, very talented, passionate, and brilliant poet, and I am certain that his writing is a central reason for how I feel about him. I saw him 4th of July weekend and he told me, he thinks he is going to marry his girlfriend. This does not surprise me. It was clear to me the two of them had a different connection that he'd had with other women. I don't care about dating him. I just want him to always be in my life, at least a little bit. Occasionally we exchange poems. He was accepted at a prestigious MFA program with full funding and a TA, he starts this fall. I am very glad for him - and oh, so very envious. :)
You're lucky that he writes. Even if he was to be out of your life completely there's a part of him that he has to put out there and you can find it. If you exchange with him parts of yourself consistently then you're having deeper conversations than most ever will with him. Like in your poem physical interaction isn't enough anyway. His writing is the big draw and you still get that.