Great job on cutting back on pain medication, it isn't easy. I have held someone down at their own request, to get them to stop heroin before. It is pretty awful to watch. He had his colon removed in high school. He was in pain, and depressed so he started buying street drugs. I ruined my credit trying to help him.

Have you always had a problem with honesty or is it something that changed, as you have gotten sick? Opiates have a tendency to take over your brain, and turn your life's purpose into getting more opiates. I can't feel your pain, or tell you what to do, but if they stop working, and you need continuously higher doses, it could be less painful to ween off now.

I don't think you are anywhere near, that point if you still care about other people. There are other things you might try for pain, medical marijuana, or even meditation could take the edge off. It is so hard to get to the right dose of pain meds. If you are can afford it, on top of the other hospital bills you probably already have, go to a pain clinic, and tell them you are afraid of loosing control.

It doesn't sound like you even are going past what your doctor gave you. It also sounds like you don't trust yourself to need more. If you want him to trust you again, you might just let him watch over your bank account. It isn't like he is being sexist, or spending your money. Boundaries might not be that important in a situation like yours. Opiates are like the ring from LOTR, let him be your Sam and protect you.