I think all three of us are of the same opinion. This looks like a bad situation, with a lot of red flags. Still, OP sounds young. There could be some embellishment, or some misdirection. In that case would it still look like a bad situation? Yes, I think so. But a few paragraphs of text isn't enough for a mathematical certainty. On top of that, a litmus test is a way for OP to convince herself, and not take it on faith from the internet that things aren't as they should be. Will that work? Eh. Probably not. But it might get her to start thinking about things in a different way, as a first step. I agree, though, it sounds like OP is trying, feels guilty, and her boyfriend has all the power in their relationship and isn't kind about it. I'd be genuinely surprised if things were not very, very bad. If there's victimization going on it certainly isn't OP's fault. I get the feeling we've heard the last of OP, though, so we'll be left guessing. :\