Hey All,

I posted this here a few days ago and never got a chance to answer everyone's questions/go into more detail. The situation is complex to say the least and I don't think my guy even realizes how controlling he's acting at the moment he's got a valid point as much as he doesn't have one.

For instance, I do tend to be squirrelly and will white lie on some things, "oh no honey, I promise I will not gamble" and then I go ahead and gamble unfortunately without thinking about the earlier promise I made not to gamble. But, ya he needs to learn to not take the small shit so hard and it's going to be a work in progress. We both have our own faults and open communication is going to be key.

For him I think it stems back to some severe trust issues where every girlfriend he's ever had has cheated on him and I think there's a bit of low self esteem at play due to the fact that he's stated multiple times that I'm "out of his league," I obviously don't agree because I'm with him but, its something he needs to personally work on.

Not only that right now he's relying on me to help out with the finances until he starts work early September compounded by the fact that his father is/was a meth addict and was constantly putting his addiction above my guys wellbeing doesn't help some of the stress my guy is having when it comes to money.

I don't blame him either. I come from wealth and have a very different definition of what a lot of money looks like.

We had a long lengthy discussion about it all on Saturday morning and addressed most of these issues.

I then ended up getting sick unrelated and vomiting uncontrollably. My feeding tube came out of my mouth, he really stepped up to the plate grabbed my emergency "kit" at my request, dialed 911 and I pulled the entire thing from my body. Ow. There were some breakdowns with the hospital/ambulance and he ended up getting me to a nearby local hospital where I was stabilized and then we drove 5hrs to my specialists hospital at midnight. He waited by my side the entire time and was the greatest ever.

IF he hadn't acted so quickly with the emergency kit - I'd be looking at a pierced trachea and/or dead from choking on my own tubing/vomit.

So he really did step up to the plate during a time of need.

More than that, I want to be really clear - the "strange" city we moved to is for a variety of reasons:

(1) To not be long distance (2) I have residency there with my parents condo out there (3) I have ties to this particular city despite not having the greatest social network there (4) I needed to get out of a rat race with a few of my doctors/break up the pattern (5) I needed space from my parents

Overall, it has been good. It was just this hiccup so far that we are both aware of and are communicating openly about. But, ya he's been super great these last few days and it shows that he really does genuinely care/is not intentionally being controlling - so I'm confident that as long as we keep up discussions and get to understand each other better, we will be able to work past it.

PS: He's probably not going to get a weekly audit of my finances - unless shit he's relying on me for doesn't get covered - then he has every right to look but other than that, its a total invasion of privacy and I intend to be very clear about this and am confident he'll get it.

_refugee_, deanSolecki, Cedar, dashnhammit, nobodycares & HeathenFairy