This one is solid. I've read it and told you the same, but hearing you read it, I'm reminded of why. Did you do more than one take? I agree that it improves. Maybe you could read it three times without pause and take the second or third.
Thanks. This is probably the most prestigious publication credential I have, too. I actually recorded several poems (5-7) all in the same time period, once I got on a roll, but have opted to upload them piecemeal. For a number of them I did do multiple takes but I also got tired of being critical and listening to my own voice over and over. Also, when I did multiple takes, I didn't save earlier ones, I would delete and re-record which I think was a mistake. I recorded another poem today and this time kept both takes so that I could make a decision between them, instead of just being forced to use the last take. I don't have any advanced audio equipment or software or anything ,so I am recording using voice memos on the iPhone and the whole take has to be "good enough." (Can't splice together a good first half of a take with a good second half of another take, for instance.) I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm now tempted to re-record it again, but for now, I think I shall let it stand. (I think I have to, now that I've put it out into the wild, a little bit.)