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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Radicalizing the Romanceless

With regard to 1. Is it simply a matter of knowing the author / editor / website / blog creator's bias? I would never imagine nuance coming out of Cosmo, but I also wouldn't imagine hate speech. Also I think recognizing clickbait as clickbait is an integral part of being Internet saavy. But I also think there's a certain amount of 'know thy enemy' required. There are people who share the opinion of those listed sites in positions of authority. Extremists with power of any variety worry me, albeit these less than most.

2. I'm not sure I buy that entirely. The argument is essentially that the MIT students and 'Henry' have 0, or effectively 0 overlap, when it comes to populations of single women, right? If that were completely true there wouldn't be as much heartache among nerds. They wouldn't be exposed in such numbers to close friends telling them about some latest asshole.

More than anything I just appreciated reading a defense of guys who were emotional doormats because they thought it was how they are supposed to treat women they were interested in. There's a disturbing trend to label every misled social inept as an Elliot Rogers in the making, and I haven't seen any indication of the slowing down until very recently. And that recent concern is definitely about guns, not why people use them.

    Arguing about loneliness on the Internet subjects you to worse than an echo chamber; it traps you in a feedback loop that can only cull you from the gene pool.

I mean, when you say it like that the anthrax analogy seems apt, or something. There's some part of me that wants to continue to engage with, for lack of a better phrase, dangerous ideas. Then days like today happen. I appreciate the perspective, and the hand up.





kleinbl00  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·  

1) I've recommended this book before. Simply reading the short little article will show you why. Rhetoric is important because it teaches you that how something is being said is as important as what's being said. Jezebel pretty much writes "guys suck amirite" while SSC pretty much writes "our tortured genius is our lofty cross to bear" and no matter what they have to say, it's always couched in these postures. "Know thy enemy?" Thy "enemy" is telegraphing their fundamental intent with every word. You don't need to hide under a rock, but a nice person who wanted to change your behavior would never link a Jezebel article to convince you to do it. Is SSC far more persuasive? Perhaps that's because it's written to persuade you, as oppose to persuading those who hate you that they're justified in hating you.

2) What's the pursuit? Is the pursuit the type of woman who will value an MIT physics student? Can we recognize that comparing the pursuit of this girl's affections with the pursuit of the affections of Henry's girls is akin to comparing fly fishing with frog gigging? Sure, an aquatic creature is being removed from the water but the similarities end there. "Why can't I catch any fish? That guy's catching lots of fish!" Because you're decked out in Orvis and sitting two miles up a trout stream while "that guy" is chumming for crawdads. Your skills are meaningless for his pursuits and his are meaningless for yours. Why are you comparing your love life to his, rather than your social life? Your intellectual life? The fact that you've never done a stint in prison for beating a woman? Because you're deliberately looking for comparisons where you fall short while ignoring comparisons where you fall long.

    More than anything I just appreciated reading a defense of guys who were emotional doormats because they thought it was how they are supposed to treat women they were interested in.

I didn't read that. I read a long, roundabout essay complaining that you can't even complain about being single anymore without someone painting you as a cad and a villain.

    There's a disturbing trend to label every misled social inept as an Elliot Rogers in the making, and I haven't seen any indication of the slowing down until very recently.

Yeah, that.

    There's some part of me that wants to continue to engage with, for lack of a better phrase, dangerous ideas.

Certainly. When we're down, we want to wallow in it. For some, it helps them process. For others, it petrifies. Look -

If you're having a bad day, there's no shortage of wisdom on the internet that will make you feel worse. Seek it out at your peril. Whatever you do, recognize that in the end, it's you CHOOSING your outlook on the matter, nothing more. The only person in the entire conversation is you; every other party is busily engaging shadows.

Don't let the bastards drag you down.

user-inactivated  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·  

God damn it stop making me buy books. Bought and on the way.

OftenBen  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I feel the same way.

user-inactivated  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have 40 of the 52 books I plan on reading this year already purchased. With the new car payments I don't need to be buying more stuff for a while.

kleinbl00  ·  3269 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm almost positive there's a library near you.

user-inactivated  ·  3268 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Fun story, the local library loves me. My favorite tax write off every year.