This _is_ really good and instructive, so much so that I have to ask follow up questions. There are surely many different types of meditation, and I think that not just the means, but also the goals, can be widely divergent. From some things you've said, it sounds like this is the case with our respective experiences/intentions, and so I'm curious. In particular, you mention that your goal that became clear was the understanding of your mind. The purpose of my chosen style of meditation is not any kind of learning, or gaining knowledge, (although discoveries do invariably occur) or in the doing of anything, in fact. Rather, it is an active pursuit of non-doing, to borrow from the Taoists (I think). The non-doing is not the end in itself, but rather, is the vehicle to transcending the sphere of the self, to tapping into the state where my self is indistinguishable from the what-else-that-there-is. And this all sounds rather abstract, of course, since I'm trying to say it, but the experience is really that of bliss, of deep connection, and resolution. So, yes, it does facilitate relaxation and de-stressing, but that is really just an inevitable consequence of tapping into sources/underlying realities, as I have experienced it. But what I want to ask you is this: what kind of knowledge of the self can be harvested in your style of meditation? And what, if you are willing to discuss, are its methods? Regarding the crutch, I think that's apt. However, I would also like to point out how incredibly useful crutches can be for those with atrophied muscles/lack of skillsets. Training wheels might be another apt metaphor. They get you going fast enough so that two wheels is all you'll ever need thereafter. The important thing is remembering to take them off when they start to become a hindrance, rather than an aid.
I didn't mean to imply there's anything wrong with guided meditation. Like you say, they can be extremely helpful, just don't rely on them and throw the baby out with the bath water. You mentioned yoga and so my meditation is a yogic style which uses a mantra, (with some other techniques too). I did promise not to share the method or techniques though, sorry. Not because they are sacred or secretive, but to avoid distorting them by my own misunderstanding or lack of "book" knowledge. What I can share though is that what I've learned is based on some important ideas. The key idea I think is that we are aware of our own existence - we can use our mind to observe itself. If you follow that idea down the philosophical rabbit hole you end up with what the yogis call self-awareness. You put it very well - "the state where my self is indistinguishable from the what-else-that-there-is". The question then is, who or what is that self, really? For me the reason for meditation is trying to answer that question. Part of the process are 3 preparatory steps - to withdraw your mind from the physical environment, then from the body and finally from itself. Then you begin your meditation in earnest. That's why I think guided meditation is incompatible, because it is rooted firmly in that first step. I was careful to phrase my goal as "understanding my own mind" somewhat sneakily because I don't want to put anyone off with terminology or the inevitable philosophical debate about what the mind or the self is. I do like those musings though, but they can be esoteric and abstract and no-one needs that as their introduction to meditation. Since you've obviously thought deeply about those topics, I'll be frank. The desire that grew within me is not for mundane knowledge, but self-awareness or self-enlightenment. I think our aims are probably more similar than they might appear, just framed with different terminology and a different perspective. "the vehicle to transcending the sphere of the self." - whatever that hell that actually means :)