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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3066 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 29, 2016

Japanese green tea, please.

  I've been writing/editting this throughout the day today between classes. Even popped it in MS Word a couple times just in case. Any who, if there's any sudden shift in topic, it's because I didn't go through and formally edit it all.

Hopping on the sub-title train. Choo-choo muthafucka.

People

Reconnecting with friends from the retreat was a nice pick me up. I keep giving myself the excuse I need a car so I'm not a burden to anyone when it comes to hanging out, so that's limiting myself to a year before I get my brothers hand-me-down. Perks of being the youngest. More and more I'm falling back into a critical viewpoint of peers. I got elected to Treasurer of my Active Minds (Mental Health Advocacy) Chapter. Now, I like to think of myself as left-of-center, yet the majority of the kiddos in the club make me feel like I'm on their right. One hell of a weird feeling advocating for others to slow it down a bit. As the JROTC Battalion Commander, I felt like I was more on the left (where I started to refine my belief system). Arguing for the opposite is an odd thing when I've advocated for a different mindset before. On another note, the whole "college students advocating for Mental Health" bit is pretty well laden with some odd, misused associations from therapeutic strains of thought.... On the flip side, there are some cuties in the club. That, in tandem with reason to get myself out, is reason enough for me to keep chugging along. On that we ending with a dating spin, did you know that there's a 60%/40% split F/M at my campus? Oddly, many of the upperclassmen ladies I come into contact with at my school seem already in committed relationships? Oye. If anything, the girl who ran against me for treasurer I'm looking to bring into the fold with club finances seems nice, dare I say cute. Maybe its the light, maybe it's just been a while since I've been in a relationship, whatever.

Health

I'm successfully cutting out red meats from my diet - I'm what one could have called a carnivore rather than omnivore. Not eating white meats was easy, my mother always served chicken so that was easy to acquire an aversion to. I'm not sure whether I'm feeling much different since the diet shift, and that's without increasing amount of meals per day.

It's starting to REALLY get hot so I've stopped biking as much, which I'm really feeling the impact of. Guess I'm going to start biking just for biking's sake to get my exercise in.

School

So I just switched classes from online Spanish to African History pre-1870. . . because AFH was the only one in a time slot that was comfortable, and I can't even stand online courses. Not self-disciplined in that respect to keep up with the work. I realized it'd be best to take spanish in person next summer (so I have to suffer it in a smaller time period) in the local community college - again, when I have long-distance personal transportation. The AFH class is REALLY interesting AND upper level. Slowly cracking away at my history minor! The class I really wanted was a history course on the American military in the 1900s, but it conflicted with the time slot of my CompSci lab... which is one of four slots, all optional attendance... screw online scheduling (I couldn't go in and override it seeing as I'd like to have gotten out of the Spanish class ASAP without missing anymore material of the next class).

Speaking of CompSci, we went over Binary conversions (again, for me). Damn, I miss math. My degree's math requirement stops at 'College Algebra,' which is high school's trig/pre-trig. I finally got my Calculus credit to transfer. Ah man. I over shot the math credit here and now I'm craving the logic in my field of study. I was spit-firing answers in class (not like it's too hard after a year of practice last year, though). This is making me reconsider dropping a math class "for giggles" next semester.

One of my friends in the CompSci class was out - her boss scheduled her first day of work on the days she specifically asked not to work on? So taking notes for her was a blast proving my work on paper, at risk of sounding like a major (proud) geek. I've been developing stronger ties with some class mates in baby steps. I usually don't talk in class. I'm there to get the notes, take the test, and go. So this is a bit of a nice change. The couple of peers I'm with are funny as shit which, as always, is a big plus.

Orlando update

I'd like to really only plug in the off-beat news that is flavored in my towns perspective, everything else you can find online, I'm sure. So, first off, I can't express enough how small Orlando really is for such a big name city. My dad would like to think you can cover every local with one degree of separation (I'd argue two). A peer of mine's uncle was one of the operating surgeons, one of the victims was a grocery bagger my mother got to know on a first name basis (yes, yes, they have name badges, but you know what I mean), and the people affected in the retreat I went to spanned across all the locals (most of us). Not surprisingly, some of the most deeply affected were out working with the families, still volunteering, or still grieving in their own fashion. Remember those posts I cited about what the Orlando community was doing for the victims? That powerhouse who posted all that was one of the instructors this weekend. She spoke to what the retreats' community was doing (and still is) to date. Now, let me preface, that this retreat's people are the gems of Orlando in their own right. It's a dedicated support group for one another and goddamnit did they step up. Members of the community help organize, attend and run logistics for most if not all funerals. Yeah, 49.

    The last funeral is over. Today was Eddie Justice's turn to be celebrated, and the vigil tonight in Kissimmee is a perfect ending for my journey with some of the most giving and selfless people I have met.

    I've got many new friends that have a special place in my heart. I'm proud of my hometown. I watched us come together to stand up against bigotry and hate. I have watched people change almost overnight and show compassion and love to others they wouldn't have just a few weeks ago.

    For me, this last funeral is the closing of a circle. Eddie's text to his mother is what made me begin this journey. To read a text from my child saying "Mommy, I love you. I'm going to die" is too much to think of. My decision to do this has been questioned by some who can't understand, but my soul is okay with that. I chose to stand with many who let the world know that these families going through this hell can at have their last moments in this lifetime peaceful while they mourn. It wasn't interrupted by hate and unimaginable nastiness from people who do this in the name of God. Their whole aim was to get to those families. They weren't successful. Not in our town. And now the world knows.

    Love won in Orlando, Kissimmee, Winter Garden, Apopka, Pine Hills, Altamonte Springs, and Winter Park. I'm proud to have been a little part of this. One love Orlando. Peace be with you all. I'll be seeing you around.

Others showed up to counter-protest the Westboro Baptist Church. The way they did it is so appropriate seeing as the volunteers for the retreat are called "angels". Look closely and you can see the "wings" to block the view of protestors for mourners.

This lady/powerhouse/superhuman has been in close contact with the GLBT Center head immediately following, though also beforehand - inherent in running her counseling center. Here's a reflective piece from the head. Sorta boggled by the source, but hey, whatever works.

Artwork is showing up as memorials to the victims. This is a popular one I've seen posted around or friends taking pictures of/with.

And here are some more art pieces:

This popped up in my student union:

Which reminded me of a favorite by Kelly O'Brien:

And lastly, if you're looking to help:

    GIFT CARDS ARE STILL NEEDED AT THE CENTER for the families affected by the Pulse tragedy. Target/Publix/Wal Mart, etc. are good options. Address to mail or drop them off is The Center, 946 N. Mills Ave., Orlando, FL, 32803. Can you help? Thanks!

This is a follow-up post made on June 28th in reference to when family members first came into town. There is a need for food/supplies/toiletries while the families are in town. They were flown in for free and some put up in hotels for free, yet they (also victims recovering) still require basic supplies while they are recovering, not working.

I hadn't done much in way of supporting the cause, in truth, once it all happened. I think I really just used Hubski as an outlet of sorts, waiting for the retreat to happen. Didn't attend vigils, didn't donate blood, didn't do a lot of things the run-of-the-mill locals hopped up to do. The span of this past year, culminating to this point has been pretty damn desensitizing. Going through history courses and having learned about my own heritage as a Jew makes all of this stuff feel as if another string of lament is needled into Mankind's canvas. It's sad, yes. Though it's to the point of numbness, which, if anything is more sad for me that it has to come to that point. I guess in some way, I was holding out for the retreat because that's where I could really put my self in a light as an asset to the community as an agent of healing. There's something about witnessing grief, anger and even forgiveness getting processed thats so much more touching than any vigil or line of donors. And the fact that I could be a hand in someone's journey along that rode... it's a bit self-serving. I frame it so I feel as though I'm doing my part, however small, to help process the grief - and that piece is valid - yet on another level I guess it's a ward against pessimism, misanthropic thoughts, and the like.

All that said, I did end up buying a support ribbon (sending it somewhere special), and one of my brothers bought the kantos kollective "Orlando Strong" T-Shirts which I've been eyeballing. For better or (mostly) worst this is another unifying factor for Orlando. In light of this all, it looks like Orlando's un-official, but kinda official color is Purple (pretty sure for the Lions). I think it could be argued Blue for the Magic, as well...

Really the only thing that matters

I'm alive. I'm breathing. My loved ones are safe. I'm counting my blessings, and you are one of them.