As a child, I didn't get to learn about many things people take for granted. I only started brushing my teeth regularly, twice a day, about two years ago - not because of some message about dental hygiene someone told me at school or at home, but because it felt nice and I didn't want to smell like a damn trashcan. Crazy, I know. My teeth are fine, and I'm making sure they stay that way now.
I didn't get to learn a lot of things as a child. It's time I find some of them out.
Why should one make their bed?
How often should one wash themselves? I do it relatively regularly, depending on how hard I sweat, with the intervals of three to five days. I do take a shower every morning and well as after running. Is washing oneself best done with hot, cold or average temperature of water?
How often should one wash the floor and/or vacuum?
Is it really necessary to iron things after washing them? They seem fine if hanged properly (about their shape - e.g., using shoulder hangers).
How does one pay taxes? What are the steps? What's necessary to keep in mind while doing so? I've never encountered any, since my parents pay have payed for me so far.
How does one play with their children? What are appropriate games for different age groups, and what their supposed result should be? I've never seen parents play with their children, don't remember being played with either.
What do young children need, in general? How often do they need to be touched (hugged, patted etc.)? told what to do? checked up upon?
What's the appropriate behavior around and about a person you like, supposing I want to be good to them? How often is it appropriate to check up on them and ask them of their well-being, in general (I realize that people are different)? What are the best ways to do so (what to say, how to say it etc.)?
How does one act on a job interview? How much initiative is required and appropriate, supposing I like the job? What should I know about the ways people act around hiring others (for example, when they say "We'll call you" and don't)?
How respectful it is to greet a recently-met person in their native language if one doesn't speak the language properly or at all?
This is all I'd like to know so far. Feel free to tell me anything else I should known as an adult that I should've learned as a child.
Where I live (Philippines) you have to shower at least once a day. Super easy to get BO in the tropics. If that person of a different nationality is warm/friendly, it's a-okay to greet them in their native language. I'm sure a lot of people would find it charming. Kamusta? Before I got my last job, I emailed the HR manager once every 2 weeks or so. It helps you come off like you want the job but not desperately. Make sure to always reply to the latest message in the trail. Don't worry if they don't contact you right away; took me a month before I nabbed the appointment. For the interview itself, best thing to do is practice answering questions, even just once, with yourself or a friend. It's the same shit every time anyway. Lifehacker is a godsend. Random adult things: Keep your room tidy. Ditto for your car. That's how you get laid. Own up to your mistakes. If you split up with your SO, don't contact them for at least a year. Use that time to regroup and heal. Unless you have kids or property together or something. But you don't need to be friends. Focus on becoming a better you. One last thing, no adult ever figures it out 100%. Just keep giving a shit, avoid getting complacent, and you'll be alright.
That got me. Took me a while to realize that a tidy room feels good, not just looks good, and now that you put it this way... Anything specific you can share about this one? What are things one doesn't often give a shit about but should?Keep your room tidy. Ditto for your car. That's how you get laid.
Just keep giving a shit
https://www.amazon.ca/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional/dp/161448242X I should elaborate more on this. I found this book very helpful in overcoming some of my own issues and I'm pretty sure you would find it helpful too. My parents taught me very little and I'm honestly thankful for that. When my mom tried to teach me how to tie my shoes it started with her freaking out that I didn't know how to already and then angrily showing me how in a hurry. That memory is burned into my brain and if they tried to teach me more I would probably be more fucked up. That's not too say they didn't get it right a few times but that doesn't really make up for the rest.
Thanks for the recommendation. Not sure if I'll be able to buy it soon enough: dealing with Amazon in Russia may be problematic. That's the essence of it. There's a saying in Russia: "Even a stick shoots once in a year". It's still a stick, not a rifle. What you and I went through, no kid ever should. Still, Nietzsche was right: "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Resilience gained afterwards is a virtue for the whole life.That's not too say they didn't get it right a few times but that doesn't really make up for the rest.
I'll second the recommendation of that book. It's wonderful. Side note: what would that phrase be in Russian?
Wow, that's a lot of questions there. I am curious how old you are and what led to you winding up an adult with out having learned at least a little about some of these things. I don't mean that in any way offensive, just a curiosity. And certainly, you need not explain anything you don't feel comfortable with. Most of the questions you've asked have no single one or best answer answer. You could search online and find tons of different perspectives on how to deal with any one of your questions. I'll gladly through some of my two cents in on some of them for you though. Making your bed? Meh, I don't think I've ever seen a good reason to do it other than it looks neat and tidy. I have read some information that says not making your bed and letting it breath and air out is actually better most of the time. Showering, sound like you got that about right. Personally, I shower most days. At least a quick one. Cool or cold showers are better for your skin than hot (hot strips away your natural skin oils and forces you to have to moisturize more) and cold water is supposed to help your body create adipose fat, which is better for your health. Might need to do some research on that one, just something I recall reading about at some point. Vacuuming and mopping the floor? That depends on a lot of things. I have two dogs that shed so much I don't understand how they aren't bald. So rightfully, I SHOULD vacuum every couple of days to keep up with all the hair. But often I don't do it nearly as often as I should. So it depends on your situation, but if you don't have pets and don't wear shoes in the house once a week or so on your most trafficked areas if probably plenty sufficient. Less often in less used areas. Ironing... I rarely iron any of my clothes. I probably should iron some of my clothes more often, but I'm just really not that snazzy of a dresser. I'll starch and iron a shirt and pants if I'm going to something I think really warrants it, but generally day to day, I never iron. Just hang them quickly after drying like you. Taxes... They can be tricky and difficult, but really fit many people they really aren't that bad. If you work and your employer takes out the right amount of taxes and you don't have many deductions, you can simply file the short 1040ez form at tax time. If the employer is taking out the right amount, and you make under a certain amount, you'll probably be just fine. But really this is something you'd probably want to research more yourself or talk to an accountant of you think you have an odd situation regarding taxes. Could turn into a complete nightmare if you screw those up for to long. Well, time to board my flight. So that's all I got for now. Good luck. Edit: flights being delayed a little and I just read back through this, sorry about all the typos. I'm on mobile.
Hey, thanks for your two cents. I always appreciate outside perspective, especially with things I don't know or understand well. Living in the modern world, with taxes and the like, is among those things. Don't worry about any freaking typos: you can say best things with sub-par language. How it came to be is a short story. I was raised by parents whose main concern was to accomplish things through me rather than accepting the fact that with their lives they screwed up (nothing quite satisfying or happiness-inducing to their names, leading to constant dissatisfaction with life). "Helicoptering", basically. They protected me from most possible harm, which, from their perspective, includes stunting my personal growth because it might include rocks I can stumble upon and get a boo-boo. They live - and made me live - by the assumption that the only acceptable kind of growth is the safe kind, which, you may know from personal experience, is not the case.
Well, for what it's worth, I don't know that you are as bad off as you think you might be. Most of the things I've commented on weren't exactly things I've really ever learned from my parents either. You learn a lot as you go. I'm pushing forty, and I'm still learning many MORE things about life. Take it easy and be well. Never stop learning. I think you'll be just fine.