Over the past few years - maybe longer - I have noticed a change.
I have been happier and more content than any other time in my life that I can recall.
Yet I find that increasingly, I become choked up and teary eyed at every little thing.
A movie, a book, a song. The news. A passing thought.
Not just sad things, but happy things as well.
My eyes feel like dams straining to hold back the flood waters.
All glossy and pale rose colored.
It's like empathy, on overdrive.
It feels strange. Weird.
Makes me wonder if something is wrong. Out of sorts.
I tend to choke it back and swallow hard, unless I am alone.
I don't mind that I feel, I mind the conflict I feel about it.
Is it normal? Is it ok? Is it a sign of something else? Something wrong?
I wonder. Then I tear up.
What is happening to me?
Why? Why do I cry? Why MUST I cry?
No idea why, but I can understand where you're coming from. I'd consider myself to be an emotional person, although in the past 5 years or so that seems to have been heightened considerably. Maybe having kids makes one more sensitive? No idea, although I would observe I'm more sensitive in the mornings.
Yeah I was doing a little searching around yesterday for info. It seems that there are at least some others that notice similar changes as they get older and many seem to attribute it to having children. I don't know. I guess I just wonder if it's really completely normal and naturally occurring or if it could be the result of some external influence. Like a medication or dietary change or something like that. I've never been one to get overly excited, and that hasn't changed. There have been times where I had felt what I believed to be, probably a fairly mild, depression -but that was long ago. Generally, daily, I am a happy and content person. But it just seems my empathy type response is in hyperdrive most of the time. That's the one thing that seems to have changed. And the one emotion that feels somewhat over the top to me. And confuses me. Maybe I have control issues as I feel I've always tried to reign in and control my emotions. And I've always been pretty good at that. Maybe that's not necessarily the best way to be. To control your emotions. And I'm now feeling like I can't control this emotional response.