Goddamn it, ain't that the truth. I've noticed that even the heartfelt advice to I've given to heartbroken, down-on-everything friends, when repeated back to me verbatim improved my outlook ZILCH. That's why when things are good, I try to make mental deposits into the "Remember, Life Can Be Amazing" bank. It's just that the next swing of life into the trough is typically harder than the last, so it always feels like a special case.It sure is fuckin' tough to hear when you're in the trenches though, huh?
It's hard. It would be easier if there was a literal bank. I'll tell you, I did one of those goofy things I think I saw on pinterest. I set up an email account called something like "thatsworthsaving" at gmail. I then set a reminder and about once a week wrote things to that account. The original suggestion was a physical jar full of post it notes, but I wanted to write a bit more. Some weeks it'd be pretty banal and a bit forced but other weeks were huge. I'd write pages and pages. And then I stopped after life got busy -- you know people fall into and out of habits like that. Well anyway, a year or so afterwards, I logged into that email account and was astounded by how much I'd written about and had forgotten. The experience left me incredibly happy but also hyperaware of just how much our brains forget. Or mine, at least. I forgot so much. I think pairing this sort of memory gardening with the practice of mindfulness (in the sense of not identifying with every anxious or denigrating or angry thought that arises, vis-a-vis Sam Harris et al.) would certainly improve someone's outlook, especially over a lifetime. Lord knows I've been trying: it's called practice for a reason.
I'm not sure I follow. As a form of brain chemistry?Comes a point where the external transmogrifies into chemical.
As a form of "your biology is now doing its own thing separate from your psychology." Inputs and outputs no longer matter; your biochemistry is swimming in its own self-feeding witches' brew of cortisol, endorphins and hormones. And you have to stop feeding the feedback loop for a disturbingly long time before your reaction to events reflects rationality, rather than conditioned suffering.
And I'm sure this interrupting process only gets easier as you get older, right? D: