First of all I started my post by telling you I don't generally use the term feminism because it doesn't mean anything specific to me so I would ask that you refrain from defining "my feminism" for me. I get that you've dealt with shit but I don't appreciate you projecting it on me and find it very rude. The issue you list about women including those that can't have babies or have pain during sex are reproductive health issues. Women who have been identifying as female since day one have different life experiences from those that haven't. This isn't just about puberty, we were treated differently in our youth and that shapes us. I didn't say I have a problem with anybody who wants to be included in feminism but I've definitely seen it in certain circles. This is basically my problem with feminism, my believing one thing doesn't mean another "feminist" does as well. Poor descriptive word. The point is the baggage isn't the same and if somebody was identifying as male for part of their life they benefited from that during the same formative years that those identifying as female did not. Some feminists have a problem with that. They take issue that somebody who enjoyed this privilege now wants to dictate how they are allowed to express themselves as feminists. It's not like these groups hide away never to be seen on the internt. Everybody in that situation has a point. I wouldn't like if some rich woman who had never been in a position where she has to deal with certain issues tried to tell me how I was allowed to be as a feminist. Just like how a woman of colour doesn't wants a privileged white woman to tell her how she is allowed to express herself. I also see how others want to be included in that circle. What is the difference though of saying well you can't dress like me because you haven't dealt with my shit and saying well you can't call yourself a women because you haven't dealt with my shit ? Women do all have varying experiences just like people of every race, religion, and economics status have. We have general stats for all of them even so. I'm for live and let live.

On the topic of fetishizing since this is another one of those words that gets thrown around poorly what is the difference between fetishizing a feature and being attracted to it ? I see this a lot with bigger girls, when is it fetishizing and when is it just that somebody is attracted to larger women ? What is the difference between fetishizing a kimono and thinking it's cute ?