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my moods mutable, boiling over. Unable to stabilise those feelings and emotions that I didn't yet understand. You always responded in kind unkindly as I failed to find a healthy outlet. fraught with fear when you came near with that look in your eyes, about to chastise, the cries as you grabbed my shirt collar, pinned me high against the door and shouted in my face. Now I rarely let you greet my gaze. This is what you raised, it's not just a phase. I'm trying to overcome the distance between us now that I'm older. Something beautiful died that night Now the fear is apathy. But it's hard, and you don't make it any easier.