- From: Brad Parscale <contact@victory.donaldtrump.com>
Subject: Make Straws Great Again
I’m so over paper straws, and I’m sure you are too. Much like most liberal ideas, paper straws don’t work and they fall apart instantly.
That’s why we just launched our latest product - Official Trump Straws.
Now you can finally be free from liberal paper straws that fall apart within minutes and ruin your drink.
Trump Straws are custom made with the Official Trump Logo, recyclable and reusable, and, as always, 100% MADE IN AMERICA.
Get your Official Trump Straws TODAY to show liberals that you won’t let their overregulation ruin your beverage consumption experience any longer. >>
Paper straws are just another example of failed liberal overregulation. Fear not, President Trump has the perfect solution!
Supplies are extremely limited, so be sure to get your Official Trump Straws today.
Publicly support President Trump and get your Official Trump Straws NOW.
Thank you,
Brad Parscale
Campaign Manager
Donald J. Trump for President
This couldn't be more indistinguishable from satire without actually being satire. On a side note, I've used paper straws, and have been pleasantly surprised - much like a lot of other information coming out of this org, that "don't work" and "fall apart instantly" are bald-faced lies. They should have just had the subject line read "FUCK the planet!". It would have been more honest.