I dedicate this one to you, goob. (P.S. If you liked this, then you'll probably like Season 3, Episode 13 of Avatar: the Last Airbender. It's all about how a young, growing man reconciling with how his cultural birthright is founded on channeling all his energy from rage. When all he's tired of living a lifetime fueled on anger, he must find another way to lend his support to his newfound friends in a healthy manner.) The whole article is very pro-'men talking about feelings with other men'. Yes. It's hard even with my brothers right now - who are my best friends - to talk to when I'm down and out about striking out again [and again and again...] on what I think is leading to a Robust Pleasure Source (still love that, OB). The weirdest thing of it all? The most recent feedback that REALLY stuck with me is how assertive I have to be when making plans with a woman. NOTE: Assertive, NOT aggressive. For the people in the back, again, ASSERTIVE NOT AGGRESSIVE. I don't want to say it's 'hard' to act with that distinction - my analogy is how you'd [firmly] tell your dog to sit. It's so easy to misconstrue that ability as the 'dominance, aggression ... and conquest' mentioned in the article. In my opinion, having mastery in assertion over aggression is what makes a 'good man'. 'cause it's so fucking easy to choose anger.... Personal Anecdote regarding 'ideal man' paragraph: So, that one Pubski a while ago where I shared my dating face-plant on bluntly asking the woman (with 0 class) if she was looking for a relationship? One thing she knew of me was my interest in martial arts, and she's asked me more than once to show her some moves or go with her to a local fight rink... she's not trained in any manner. I don't know whether this was one of those 'haha show me your moves ;D' moments, and not interested in finding out. The crazy thought behind that is how it strikes a nerve in the 'male protector archetype' role --slippery slope---> men have to hold it together/suppress it all. :^)Basically, as boys grow up, the only emotion that is validated for them is happiness or anger. The whole bucket of emotions that involves sadness or betrayal or despair gets funneled into anger. One of the things that we can do with little boys is to actually label their feelings and say, “It seems like you’re really sad,” or “That must be very frustrating,” to give them a broader emotional range.
Lots of guys wanted something more connected — or even had it and would talk about their partners with great love and regard — but they tended to see that as more of a personal quirk than an aspect of humanity.
