ah look at me, vaguely gesturing at mudsy from four months ago with none of my college friends, a freshly broken leg, and a new ex girlfriend

shit sucks. hoping that my ability to cope with it gets better with time. i have this mental ideal of a version of myself who contains every 'thing' or 'place' that could ever be mine, a fortress of meaning self-defined and self-derived and immune to the feeling of loss we're talking about.

it's a nice thought, but i think that would be a sad way to be