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comment by am_Unition
am_Unition  ·  1030 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: SpinLaunch conducts first test of suborbital accelerator at Spaceport America

This is all fine by me. I hereby notarize your comments.

We now have a legal team, and I hav-

leans in and whispers

They say we don't have to pay the workers (who will be in charge of spring compression) a living wage if we plan to kill them, but we just can't let anyone know that we knew about the very high likelihood (100%, in fact) of killings. I thought about using robots or something for the crankening, but a large team of children jumping up and down on the spring turns out to be better for the bottom line.

COUGH Anyway.

Phase II will be asteroids, to mine rare Earth metals. And India is the perfect asteroid-catching shape! We will not feel the shockwave deep down in our tunnels, with enough workers working the entrances.

The problem is that after we scoop up the metals, the market may not be good for it. I've got analysts projecting that people will be much more valuing stupid shit like food and water after the asteroid hits. That's OK, because we've built the option to short company shares into our contracts. Someone left alive will buy them, we've already begun the PR work to ensure.

It's possible we will do some healthy, forced insemination to drive the annual growth needed after the asteroid thing, because Phase III is pretty ambitious. Did you know that there are no markets yet in neighboring star systems? If we get there first, we could plant the company flag and really corner demand, I think.

Dear Christ Almighty, we are smart!

We earned this. 😎

Keep up all the hard work, Devac!!





Devac  ·  1029 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I thought this was supposed to be a scam, not '70s Bond villainy.

am_Unition  ·  1029 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't know how you can say that when I haven't outlined the ways we're going to be doing sexism yet.

No women. Absolutely ZERO women, and I mean everywhere. We will have synthetic reproduction. This has become The Phase 0.0 "OPERATION NOW" target for our company. We expect to make and distribute at least ten thousand synth reproduction units, but perhaps as many as ten billion.

This company policy WILL be attacked by feminists, who are selfishly only trying to not die. It turns out (I just had another team tell me this, correction from Elon Musk) there is a resource shortage, and it's better if US Boys (this company name is polling) just kinda take the helm and the resources, like we have been, but even more now.

So and I guess my main point is that I'm not sure why this sort of thing can't go forward? The business model is the only business ever modeled. Our company isn't going to bore people with academic posturing, and so I didn't bother reading your other post with the technical discussion of spinning.

Jobs! There will be them, and for pretty much everyone alive at the time of job posting, I think, which does currently include you.

kleinbl00  ·  1029 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    No women. Absolutely ZERO women, and I mean everywhere.

DEFINITELY no longer a Bond film