and what does "platonic" mean in this sentence. If there is a desire but no action, is it not still platonic? In both men and women, I've noticed that desire is not just lust. Being a friend, includes desiring and enjoying someone's company, appreciating their help, laughing together. These are all activities that build friendship and increase desire - even if someone is not initially your type. Proximity is not the only reason friends have sex, but it is very often the deciding factor. Oh dear, I just met theadvancedapes and thought we were going to be friends. I guess not.These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study.
mk I have some problems with this study as well. No stats and no details about what questions were asked -- and how did they define "friends"? The possibility of romance or a clothing malfunction does not necessarily mean that the friendship is not real - especially if friendship is undefined.Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more.
Also, sexual desire and romantic feelings are not the same thing, but young men have an especially hard time disentangling the two. As I get older I have a much easier time being friends with women than I did when I was in my teens to early twenties. I have a couple friends that are very attractive women, and while I'm attracted to them, I have no trouble decoupling my attraction from my friendship. This is something I would have found impossible a decade ago.
True. In some sense the reason why this study is supposed to surprise us is because culturally we aren't supposed to be sexually attracted to anyone but our chosen partner. It's pretty absurd to think that attraction is soley based upon the nature of the relationship. There's nothing wrong with recognizing that your friend is attractive.
I think we can still be friends lil ! This study is slightly simplistic but I thought it was interesting enough to post for discussion.
ha ha I wasn't being serious. Of course we can be "friends" and you can punctuate it any way you like. The video is cute - but here's my problem with all of this. The men all said "no, men and women can not be friends." Yet, they all were being friends with the women. In some cases, best friends. So obviously all the people in the video CAN be just friends, but they can also be MORE than friends if both sides feel like it. I think all our friends are people that turn us on, but we can be turned on in many ways. I'm surprised that none of the young adults in the video had anything more nuanced to say (although it might have been edited out).