It takes a lot to write so beautifully about this huge aspect for your life, thank you.
Thank you so kindly, jennings. There is more in our inner and outer worlds than we realize. When I got the call asking if I wanted to meet my daughter, all I could say is Yes. The heart knows what the mind and body need.
That's such a great question, jennings. And a tough one to answer. I would have to say that I had so many moments of regret over the years, but the emotion was always tempered by the possible reality that the young girl I was could not have kept the baby and done right by her, or kept sane. I say possible reality because I just don't know. I might have been wonderful, victorious, best mom ever. I will never know. When I met her, the overwhelming emotions were love and relief. I finally knew that she was okay after all of those years of worry. All I can do now is be the best person I can be, try to live moment to moment. I am so glad that she wanted to meet me, and gladder still that she wanted to continue to build a relationship.
I think you made the right decision. You shouldn't have a child you haven't prepared for and are not in a position to care for properly, and you made sure she got the upbringing she deserved. And it sounds like she is well-adjusted and grown up enough to accept you and love you. Well done :)
Yeah, I guess that's what life is - making the best decisions you can moment to moment, or, rather, making the only decision that makes sense in the moment even if it isn't the best... and then plodding forward, trusting in the goodness of the world to protect you and those you love. Here's a pic of the two of us:
