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comment by DanQ
DanQ  ·  4308 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Most lives are lived by default

It's not so simple as that, Berne and his followers would say. Script-writing, especially as a child, is largely unconscious and based upon our experience of our own mental state and the state of those upon whom we depend. To take a simple (but highly significant) example, a child who learns that he or she can not depend upon his or her caregivers will learn to be distrustful or even paranoid, and this will shape their understanding of other people for the rest of their life, and will be a hard belief to shake. You might expect, then, that such a person would as an adult be self-reliant to an un-necessary extreme, and hold value statements like "You've got to look after number one" and "Charity begins at home". This may even shape parts of their life script, such as by influencing them to favour colder, more-distant romantic relationships, or to target careers which promote independent work over teamwork.

Our ability to challenge our own scripts might be likened to writing, I suppose. There are certainly therapists from schools such as CBT who might say that to change your own behaviour or feelings to something "preferable" requires that one is able to make a convincing alternative story for oneself. Maybe that's a little like "writing" yourself a script.

But hey: for every psychologist who proposes one model of our cognitive development, you'll find two who propose conflicting theories. I just thought it was interesting how closely the article mirrored some of the things that Berne wrote about in The Psychology of Human Destiny (along with lots of examples of script archetypes that he believes that we're taught, and pass on, through the tropes in our fairy tales and other stories).





Kaius  ·  4308 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My reply above was more than a little tongue in cheek but thanks for the extra information. A lot of what was said in the article rings true to me, the fact that you live in a certain place with a certain group of friends etc. without really making a conscious decision about any of it. That's the external part of it which you have accepted and adapted to. Berne seems to approach the same topic from an internal perspective; how the individual internalises events which then shapes how that person views the world.

In either case when reading I couldn't help but wonder if my current situation (both the good and the not so good) is a result of my conscious decisions or whether events happened and I drifted along. Did I steer the ship or simply log the journey to allow it to make sense in retrospect.