Awesome.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm pleased on a day to day basis, but am apprehensive about the distant future - 10 or 20 years from now. Much of that stems from a fear of being alone or isolated, watching friends get paired up and settled down. As much as I'd like to be in a relationship, I've never actually wanted to be in one with anybody I've met. I know that there's more to life than that, but part of me wants somebody to go through life with - a constant across the various stages of life, a best friend. Assuming that having a significant other would alleviate this concerns is optimistic, and I imagine that continuing to focus on the present, doing things I want to do and with people I want to be around, is a better course of action. It's not a completely rational fear, but I don't think humans are completely rational.

In general, it doesn't bother me too much. It sometimes fills my mind when I'm alone and contemplating life, random weekdays when my roommates aren't home or before I go to sleep. I know I am capable of meeting new people and making friends, but it's not something I want to do every few years - it's draining to be outgoing, and I get the sense that people are less inclined to look for good friends as they get older, although I know that that's not necessarily true either.

This stuff gets to me more than job and career concerns. I'm finishing up a master's degree in the spring and have a plan for after graduation, and I am comforted by the flexibility I believe I'll have on the professional front for the foreseeable future.

Sometimes I feel like I know who I am, and sometimes I feel comfortable or uncomfortable with it. I waver between wanting to change certain aspects of myself and accepting that I am like I am. My friends say that I think too much, so I try to keep busy and enjoy life as much as possible. Seems to be working pretty well so far.