Thanks jemiller, Your comments are helpful in planning this project. Setting and achieving goals seems key to the feeling of satisfaction you all describe. I've heard all these arguments about setting goals.
• Goals, shmoals. Goals are for depressed people. • I want spontaneity. Goals would limit me. • I want to be available for my family, so I limit my personal goals. • Goals? It sounds like more work for me. • I prefer not to focus on myself. Goals make it seem like I'm out for myself. • I'm happy and content with my life so far. Why do I need goals? • How can I enjoy my life if I focus on goals? If I focus on my goals, I might lose sight of the journey. It's like working so hard to get good marks that I don't reflect on what I've learned or what it might mean. and these reasons for not setting goals: I'm not a goal-setter because
I don't know what I want.
I don't know how to set goals. I'm not good at it.
My goals are too big and too many.
I'm afraid I might set the wrong goals.
I'm afraid of being labelled a loser if I do not reach my goals.
I'm afraid of criticism for even having goals.
I'm afraid I'll succeed. I'm afraid I'll fail.
I'm afraid I'll set my goals too high to reach or too low to matter.
I don't want to be seen as ambitious.
Why set goals? I'm not likely to follow through.
Goal-setting is uncomfortable. It's not how I do things.
I believe in fate: what will be, will be.
I don't feel stuck. If I felt stuck, I'd set a goal.
It takes too much time. I'm just going to get out and do things. In fact people are setting goals all the time without formalizing it. There seems to be unexpressed fears around goal-setting which I bring to light in the workshop.
Agreed. We set goals without realizing it every day. "I'm going to get the laundry done by 5 so I can watch [insert tv show/sports game/whatever] and not feel guilty." "I'm going to go to the next PTA meeting, so I can be more involved." "I'm going to go to work tomorrow so I can feed my family."
The real fear is around the bigger goals. As JTHipster points out, the path is very foggy. I'm currently reading a book which argues along the lines of James Campbell's assertion to "find your bliss." The book talks about the feelings you have when you find out what "you are meant to do" - an option perhaps available only to the people in western cultures who are privileged enough to have choices. The book says that when you discover what you are meant to do you feel a sense of meaning and coherence. I guess my real question is this: Are the small goals (laundry, for example) connected to a larger vision of a flourishing life?