Hi rezzeJ - Have you seen this video about how eminem puts together rhymes. He does't get to talking about eminem until about 3'16" -- The speaker says that rap music liberated the rhyme scheme from the usual end-of-line pattern. (This isn't true of course given that "The Raven" was written in 1845), but my point is that your internal rhymes in this poem reminded me of the rhymes in Lose Yourself. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your poems in these threads. I saw the other new one, but haven't had a chance to reply yet.
Yeah, I caught that video on Reddit, quite interesting. I quite like the idea of rapping but I've never consider myself as having the right demeanor for it. To that end I just decided to kind of try to cross that with my love of creative writing. I've tried writing stuff without rhymes but I find it less expressive, I have an addiction to finding interesting rhymes. Thanks to these prompts I've only just started taking poetry seriously, before that I just made silly Haikus and Limericks. So thank you.