life’s just a mess
I control it less and less
so to my ice cream and burritos
I seek solace which salsas? which sauce?
life’s a coin toss
but when it comes to these meals
Haha! finally i’m the boss but sometimes the habit controls the hand
and I fill my belly beyond my waistband
an all night food party
that I seriously hope won’t end salty then sweet, then savory meat
leads to sweet, back to salty
with this cycle, there is no replete my anger builds , fear on the rise
shamed of this mouth
holding back tears in these eyes but I won’t cry, I’m just tired
and alone; couldn’t purge if I tried
which I won’t don’t you know purging means you’ve got a problem?
And problems? I can do without em’ so I hold it all in, till’ the next day wake in a ball of shame
failed at this food n’ life game - unless I do something fast!
so I’ll exercise and skip meals:
now that’s a good deal.
I’ll the this whole game:
starving myself till’ my belly grumbles my name