I would call the first letter semi or pseudo respectful. While she iterates over and over that she is writing the letter because she wants to help (who does she want to help? miley, or her own view points on feminism. highly debatable), she goes on to say things like "Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself." and "Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself." While I agree with O'Connor's main points, and she may truly care, if you write a letter to a 20 year old and somehow think that you can conclude that they dont care for themselves and that they are prostituting themselves when you dont even know them, you better be ready for a backlash where they insult you. As far as I am concerned, O'Connor should have never sent the first letter, or sent a way toned down version that was actually meant to be caring and helpful to miley. Not an open letter that was, imo, a chest beating exercise to point out that she acted for a real reason in the past where as miley is not, was insulting, and was meant to push her views of how women should act into the public. It was not a respectful and sincere letter to help miley.
"Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself." and "Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself."
in no way would I be okay being on the receiving end of such judgments. First stones were thrown by Sinead, but I agree with others here that it's all a bit silly and reality TV-ish.
If I did something I was ashamed of or regretted and someone said I was their role model in that insurance I would probably over react. She definitely holds pretty intense views regarding feminism and it would be strange if those views did not form a practical day to day part of her thinking or use of language. I think you have a good point. I tend to try and take people at face value. I also think a consideration of her sense of social responsibility as the role model in this situation and how her own hurts and regrets would influence that along side her views and beliefs are necessary as well. Yes, she is punting feminism. Is she using her position as a rule model to push it or is she pushing her personal views as a heartfelt way to try and prevent Miley from being hurt the same way she was, driven by the sense of accountability that comes from being mentioned as the inspiration for the video? I can't make that call.