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comment by coffeesp00ns
coffeesp00ns  ·  4141 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: Water

we are two ripples in one pond---------------------------------------------------------in one pond we are two ripples

energy commencing from separate points-----------------------------------separate energies converging on a point

forcibly, and inevitably moving towards each other-------------each other moving together forcibly and inevitably

------------------------------------------------------------we collide--------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------- then move apart again----------move apart, then again-------------------------------

--------------- encountering other ripples------------------------------- other ripples we encounter-------------------

fading into entropy---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------fade into entropy

a few minor changes





lil  ·  4140 days ago  ·  link  ·  

thanks coffeespns - I love the idea of the ripples colliding...it's sad when they move apart... water is the metaphor for the constant motion of our human encounters.

I've been playing with a lot of water concepts: water down to a thin soup, cosmic sea, liquid lunch, strange brew, rain, raining cats and dogs, tip of the iceberg, condensation, melting, freezing....all of these swimming about in my mind (and fading to entropy)... cloudy rainy day.... heading out to an event...but will see what bubbles to the surface.

ut nothing has come together yet

humanodon  ·  4141 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nice. I still think that this can be developed, if you're of a mind to. I don't know if that little break in the dashes is intentional, but it does give the sense that entropy has entered the system of the poem.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4141 days ago  ·  link  ·  

frankly, the dashes are because I am bad at figuring out formatting and needed a way to make the mirror effect! I'm going to keep working on it.

humanodon  ·  4141 days ago  ·  link  ·  

They're really working for me and honestly, I think that the reason that they do is that I wouldn't have thought to use them in that way, evocative as they are of a picture of water. Glad to hear you'll work on it some more.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4141 days ago  ·  link  ·  

creativity inspired by necessity.