I wouldn't plan on spending much time in Bangkok, other than assuming a day or two since that's where I would probably fly in and out of. I have a mix of beach spots and buddhist temple spots on my future itinerary. I'd want to spend more time on the beach, seeing temples, or doing things like the motorbike tours you recommended in the mountains. That to me sounds like my ideal SE Asian vacation. I have little want to spend time in Bangkok or the bigger cities. Awesome advice though. The wife isn't affraid of not having anything to do, as we honestly enjoy the same types of activities and she's not really a spa girl. My wife really wants to go to Japan, but she admits the idea is a bit scary, being the outsider, not speaking the language, being in a place so different. With SE Asia being more "poor" in her eyes, and think that makes things even worse in her mind. Whereas in my mind that makes it more appealing and visceral of an adventure. I figure at least in Europe everyone looks the same and the food is similar everywhere you go, and culture is similar in many ways to the US, but different enough to get her outside of her comfort zone so she sees how awesome of a feeling and experience it is. She also hates flying, because she didn't do much of it when she was younger. I've been working on that with some smaller trips to Vegas and Phoenix a couple times a year. She's deathly affraid of flying the entire time she's on a plane. It didn't help that on our way back from Vegas recently we had to fly through a thunderstorm while landing, and had crosswinds of 40 knots, and gusts of 50. Those are more of my challenges to get over. She'd love to see all these same places, I just need to get her over the feeling of fear she has with traveling abroad, and the flying thing. Super jealous of your SE Asia travels though, I've seen you post about them before. That's kind of my next big travel goal to see. If and when I do get closer to booking I'm probably going to hit you up for some knowledge if you're still around. :)
I can understand a fear of flying. I don't have one personally, but you're right; it is something that needs exposure to (unless that fear has been induced by a plane crash or other accident). You know, I didn't think that I'd be into going to spas myself, but man oh man, a nice long massage after a long bike trip is so, so good. I have friends that really can't stand to be on crowded buses or trains, which are of course, usually the cheapest ways to travel. In Vietnam, it's no problem to get some medication to zonk out on a long ride, or a flight. A doctor in the U.S. might prescribe something for someone who has flight anxiety and it's definitely good to have on hand if that's the case. Anyway, best of luck with those challenges. Western Europe and SE Asia are so much fun to travel around and I really miss easy access to both of those regions. I traveled cheap, but I ate really well and I definitely think that it was a hugely important aspect to the good times I had traveling. I really wish that I were a better photographer, because there are such beautiful things to be seen. Yeah, by all means hit me up if you think I can help when the time comes!