I think you and Spike miss the mark in the sense that gentrification is primarily about economic status and not skin color.

Unfortunately, no matter the effort I make to respect the existing character and culture of the neighborhood, I am dilution. Each time a house goes up for sale, my wife and hope that the new people aren't white.

You are dilution, but you are economic dilution. Property values closer to your city center have been rising and pushing outward. Don't get me wrong, economic status correlates strongly with skin color in our country, but this dilution could have occurred by a well-to-to (and is I'm sure) black family or yourself and the results would be the same for the lower income minority (or majority) traditional residents of the neighborhood you are in, especially if they are renters.

Again, you can't ignore the correlation between wealth and cultural background, but what is really happening is that wealthier people are driving up property values in neighborhoods they descend on, pushing poor and blue collar residents out. When you're a rich professional that just bought an apartment in the South Bronx and your neighbor is playing bass, you're going to complain no matter what color your skin is, -because hey, you paid a lot of money for this place and you're entitled.

And when you look at the "problem" as it really is, it's easy to see how intractable it is. How do you stop a free market from pricing assets like buildings, and if you could, to what design and end exactly. This correlation between wealth and race causes confusion on the issue of gentrification. Like, is the goal to preserve a locale for poor and blue collar people of all colors, just the colors that lived there before, or do we not care about their income and we're cool with rich people moving in as long as they are a diverse group? And those questions absolutely have to be answered if you plan on doing anything because you're going to have to intentionally intervene in the market with laws or regulations. For me, the "crime" is being committed against poor and working class people and their statistical skin color becomes the face of it all. But wealth attracts wealth; I don't know how you stop it if it's right to stop it at all. You're so right in saying it's a tough issue.

From the article:

And why does it take an influx of white New Yorkers in the south Bronx, in Harlem, in Bed Stuy, in Crown Heights for the facilities to get better?

It doesn't take white New Yorkers. It takes wealthy New Yorkers. It's worth looking at though, why it takes wealthy New Yorkers, and why more wealthy New Yorkers are white.