For a long time now I have been on a mission to prove to myself-- and disprove the parental and academic authority that dominates my whole damn life-- that I can grow, improve, and learn using tools other than a textbook and homework.

I would argue that it's possible to learn and grow IN SPITE OF textbooks and homework.

Most people are afraid of this route, because it is considered embarrassing, but I essentially gave up on school at en early age. I showed up, and sometimes had to cajole teachers into giving me a passing grade, but eventually I graduated. My GPA was about the bear minimum for what one could graduate with (just north of 2.0, if I remember correctly). I knew a secret the whole time: School is a sham; there are no consequences for failing. We, in the US, have a such thing as community colleges. You do well in one of those, and it's off to a traditional university for you, and with half the credits already accrued at a fraction of the cost. Second chances can be bought here, and in this case for even cheaper than a first chance. I'm fine financially. I'm happy and healthy. I don't have a care in the world. My life has never been held back for even a split second for being a terrible student. In fact, I think it's all the better for having done so.