My coworkers thought I was 22 and this was my first job out of college and I'm trying not to be insulted. I'm also considering how my boss told me I wasn't working hard enough, but how she is now moving to a non-management position and the consensus is that management positions at our company require one to be a workaholic. So now I am considering confronting her about how she essentially said I wasn't working hard enough while at the same time, essentially, admitting that the work required for her position (less than two skips and a jump from mine) is too much for her to handle. I might bring it up to her; she won't be my manager after sept 1, after all. Why not ask her why she thinks I should commit more when she is aware that her own commitment proved too burdensome to happily sustain her level of - what's a good word for it? Ah... Life. Edit: also, the whole premise of house episode 4 is stupid. 2 babies are dying of 2 possible infections. House prescribes both 2 antibiotics. Both babies begin to experience liver failure, which could be caused by either antibiotic. House does the smart thing, what I would do, which is suggest they take each baby off a different antibiotic. Everyone is horrified! House is experimenting on babies! But see the thing is: house takes both babies off the same antibiotic. 50/50 chance he is right. Either 2 babies die or 2 live. OR, house takes each baby off a different antibiotic. NO MATTER WHAT, at least one baby lives. We have a 50% survival rating instead of 0% or 100%. in addition this method might allow house to save the other baby instead of approaching this whole situation blind. WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE SO STUPID AND SHOCKED. HOUSE IS SOLOMON EXCEPT HERE ITS THE RIGHT CHOICE TO SPLIT THE BABY. UGGGGGHHHHH
Because absolutely no good will come of it. You're basically debating whether or not you should say "so you're aware you're a hypocrite, right?" She's aware. Rubbing her nose in it will earn you zero friends.I might bring it up to her; she won't be my manager after sept 1, after all. Why not ask her why she thinks I should commit more
NO. You have no idea how this person's life will interact with yours in the future. You have no idea WHO THIS PERSON WILL GOSSIP TO about you. Maybe one of her friends will be the HR manager next year that you need to get hired? Or your new boss? Or any of a million scenarios we can come up with. Part of being an adult is learning to deal with the crap of the earth and to stop taking petty sleights seriously. Build your character so that when people talk about you, they talk about your work ethic, your honor and your honesty. As someone who has works with all of the good and bad of humanity, trust me other people know about this woman and what she is like. Don't sink to her level. Be a better person... others WILL notice. It is hard as hell, it is unfair at times, but it works out better for you over the long term.So now I am considering confronting her about how she essentially said I wasn't working hard enough while at the same time, essentially, admitting that the work required for her position (less than two skips and a jump from mine) is too much for her to handle.
Thanks for the advice. I was totally unaware of the ramifications of this potential action and was also completely seriously considering undertaking it. Your insight into this situation, without knowing these people or my relationships with them, is completely invaluable and at least 90% accurate. ___________________________________________ For the record, my boss is not my enemy, although we have some idealogical conflict. She's also not a bad person just because she happens to be a hypocrite. She's a hypocrite because she a) wants me to do the best work I can do and b) can't manage to have a happy family life with her current workload and values her family above her job. Is that really so bad? Does that somehow immediately imply that she is a negative person, someone whose level I would not want to stoop to, prone to workplace gossip and deliberately making my life harder?
I had a suspicion that this might have been venting. People forget how small the world is, so maybe someone else reading that will take pause if they are planning a similar action. I did not realize that came off as adversarial; no offense was intended, and any taken I apologize for.
It's okay, I've edited this like three times now, and I think you're responding to something I've edited out by this point too. I took out the adversarial bits. Your intentions were good. I would make the same choice my boss is making in her situation - I just wouldn't be giving me the advice she is.
I like francopoli's response and I'm just going to add a couple things. No matter how incompetent, stupid, ignorant, enraging, "she's-not-even-trying!" someone comes off as, try to remember you don't know everything about their situation. I think there's a quote, "Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about." Besides ramifications, you might end up being the ignorant one. Don't burn bridges, etc. I've burned one bridge and I got purely lucky that he was truly a hack and incompetent and a lot of people saw it. But I still regret the way I handled the situation - even though there are no ramifications or anything that have put me in a situation where I should regret it. I work with a couple people who sort of know him or have done work with him and I wonder if their perception of me is in any way skewed by that incident, whether they know anything, etc. thenewgreen told me when (I was talking to him about putting my two weeks notice in) to be as nice and kind and perfect as possible because it's never worth saying what I truly feel. He also told me to write a letter of resignation for my boss(es) and to my coworkers letting them know how amazing they are and how much I value them and everything. Both were excellent pieces of advice. The satisfaction I could have gotten for a short moment of revenge and freely speaking my mind is nothing. It's petty. It's not worth it. In the way I handled my resignation, I've found myself so much more deeply satisfied by being the bigger person and handling it in the best way I possibly could. I wasn't expecting that. I look in the mirror and go "damn girl, you've grown up!" and there's a real power to that. Plus, I know if the world ends tomorrow, I'm still in a position where I could probably get my job back if I truly needed it. You never know what shit life will fling at you. My father was 24 when he quit his first job, under strangely similar circumstances as me currently (grammar fail). He had a bit more of an ego than me (for a good reason) and handled it very differently than I did though. Three weeks later, his dad had a stroke and my dad suddenly didn't have 4 months rent saved or the ability to find and start a new job while taking care of his dad. He put his ego aside and went crawling back to his supervisor. His supervisor laughed in his face and had him escorted out of the building. Ouch.