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comment by pseydtonne
pseydtonne  ·  3714 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Don't Send Your Kid to the Ivy League

As Gibby Haynes said, "it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't."

What your parents will say, what anyone else says, should not matter. If you are driven to a positive action, then it is best to act. You weren't born to please your parents: you were born to live, live mightily, and teach what you learn.

That site is blocked by my corporate VPN. It ought therefore be interesting. The chase is on...





thenewgreen  ·  3714 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    What your parents will say, what anyone else says, should not matter.
I think this is dangerous advice. Often, the people in our lives that provide feedback do so from a genuine and well informed perspective. This should matter.

Nobody should abandon their genuine desires or ambitions just because somebody says so, but they ought to consider many points of view prior to making a large life decision. That's just common sense and whether or not you realize it, for most people the ones that will care the most about you for the majority of your life are your parents. Not all parents are bastions of wisdom, but not all are stifling control freaks either. It's good to have an openness to advice IMO, especially from those that know you best.

Cumol  ·  3714 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The first time I took a decision that my family (particularly my father) didn't like was when I chose to go for life sciences instead of med school. I simply didn't want to be a doctor, I wanted to know what happens behind the curtains, get good education in that direction without dealing with patients.

My father avoided talking to me for a year. Until he watched a documentary about stem cells, then he called me up.

To the day, he tells people that I study medicine.

My parents tend to advice me to go for the things that bring me the most money. They went for what they wanted and they are middle class. Sometimes I think that they wish it went different and they became upper class (like some friends that went for med school). But why? I don't see the other families more happy than we are...

I think my parents would see it as a waste of time and a step in the wrong direction if I go work for MAPS. The stigma associated with psychedelics and their fear that I would destroy my life is too much for them (specially my father, what will he tell the people??)

pseydtonne  ·  3713 days ago  ·  link  ·  

As I mentioned above, I apologize for providing potentially harmful advice. After reading about your parents and how they reacted to your decision about a simple college major, I feel chagrined.

It sounds like you are still young enough to be in the shadow of your parents. You aren't asking, "what do the folks back home think?" You're asking, "will I be excommunicated again and possibly be cut off from any funding?"

I haven't lived at home in nearly 15 years. I can't even get my parents to visit me, and they're retired. In contrast, you have a heavy load and it doesn't seem like I can help carry it.

user-inactivated  ·  3713 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Gibby Haynes respected what his dad said and did. If you can't even take the time to listen to your elders and your parents how will you know whom to respect?

pseydtonne  ·  3713 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I apologize that I did not know more about Cumol and his background. I was coming at my answer from my own experience: that stagnation about a decision is usually avoidance out of fear of success.

After reading his reply about his parents and how they reacted to his own decision about a college major, I feel chagrined. There is a heavy load here and it doesn't seem like I will be helpful.

Cumol  ·  3713 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You shouldn't apologize for an advice like that. I have a feeling that I need to respect what my parents have to say but still act in a way that I am not living the life that they wanted to live, but my own life.

Thank you for the advice :)

Cumol  ·  3714 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The website is the official one for the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies MAPS has been mentioned a lot lately due to the successful MDMA studies that they funded and their harm reduction tents at festivals