If a person acts tolerant, unto the grave, even if s/he feels differently, what's the difference?
I think it's the "well I treat black people well, what are they complaining about?" thing were you are too busy being tolerant to actually listen to people telling you that "Yes mike, we love you but ehh... maybe stop calling us the n-word? I know you mean well and you are a wonderful person but that is quite offensive?" I say this as someone who is a VERY white Swedish girl who had no problems with discrimination when she lived in Wisconsin by the way - the only thing that happened to me was that i but SWEDISH when they asked for race/nationality. Because I'm not Caucasian - that term refers to people from eastern Europe and not girls who look like WASPs but with a TINY bit of Sami blood. (The Sami are the native people of Scandinavia they live in the northmost part and have a wonderful Raindeer tending tradition and an AMAZING language. I have Sami ancestors but of the "married an white dude/woman kind." I would love to learn the language, but I'm not pretending that the fact that I have relatives that were Sami affects me in any negative way (though I do have health issues that are very common among them and MAYBE AB blood. There is a 50/50 chance that its that or A) the only way it affects me is that I have an amazing bone structure. It is an issue I struggle with a lot because I REALLY don't want to be racist and I do know that I say racist things sometimes. I think the key is listening.
I don't know really, I'm sorry for rambling but I have a lot of thoughts on the issue.