You mean the rom-coms lied to me? Gasp! Anyway yeah I got backstory for days. But these 3 conversations should give you the basics (in chronological order): https://hubski.com/pub?id=169939 https://hubski.com/pub?id=174079 https://hubski.com/pub?id=209139 I guess if you want I can dredge up some in-between stuff, but that's basically it. Looking back through, wow I have seriously overthought this. Thanks for being the one to point that out, because Jesus, past galen. I'm gonna take your advice. But actually. Not like all the times I've said that and not. Seriously, I will. I'm saying this so it'll be embarrassing if I don't so I will. I will also report back next week. Also thanks for taking the time to listen to my bullshit teenage problems and then advise me. The hubsquad are really good at that and I always forget to mention it.
Fuck it, dude. Do what feels right to you. Not that insomniasexx and _refugee_ aren't giving you objectively good advice, but there's nothing like learning on your own how to act successfully and unsuccessfully. You can read a whole manual on how to fly a plane, but in the end, you need the hours in the cockpit, if you catch my drift.
Agreed - my sister is 20 going on 21 and she wants to talk about her relationship problems all the time. And I sit, and try to listen, because that's what she wants me to do, and not tell her what to do, because the fact of the matter is that even though my advice might be right, or save her from heartbreak or assholes or whatever, she is not going to do anything sensical until she learns that everything she's trying right now doesn't work first hand. So go on and do whatever you want and make mistakes - I think people have to in order to learn lessons - but damn if I'm not going to be like "Dude, seriously? Seriously? I told you this - unhelpful as it may be! - a few months down the road.
I agree with insom's advice regarding the way to play things well. However, my advice would be to take a break from her (don't be rude, just don't engage more than you need to to remain responsive and polite), and take a couple of weeks for galen time. Hang out with other folk you enjoy, and work on a project that you've been wanting to. Take a overnight or weekend trip somewhere if you can. Whenever you start putting a lot of effort into trying to figure someone else out, you'd probably get better returns getting to better know yourself.
You and I have talked about this girl. I basically completely agree with everything insom has said. 1) Things never need to be declared out loud. Being declared out loud forces people to confront situations that they already know about and don't want to confront. This is why, despite the fact that yes, I had an obscene crush on a bartender for 6 months, I never sat him down and was like "I like you." He knew. I knew. We all fucking knew. To the extent that multiple, random, mutual friends of ours have been subtly comforting me about the fact that the interaction didn't turn out. TRUST ME. EVERYONE KNOWS. I have been told "keep my head up," I'm "marriage material," etc., etc., recently. Which is really just super amusing and also very kind of these mutual friends. People have invited me to hang out at other places besides the bar if I don't want to hang out at the bar. Everyone knows your shit. Especially this girl. She knows your shit. 2) "I don't want to be in a relationship" means "I don't want to be in a relationship with you." This is why people tell this line to other people, regardless of gender, and then piss the original people off by ending up in a relationship with a different person 3 weeks later. (Happens most in high school.) If you don't inspire this girl to want to be in a relationship, she doesn't. 3) Just go back and reread insom's post, like got damn. 4) I'm sorry, this is brutal, but this girl isn't interested in you. She hasn't been, and she's not going to be. Face it, galen! Find someone worth your time, aka someone who sees you for the awesome brilliant person that you are and loves every nanosecond of it.
Everyone is right. insomniasexx is right that you need to disengage and make her realize what she had. mk is right that you should take some time for yourself. b_b is right that some things you have to learn for yourself. I'll tell you this, I was friend-zoned many times as a young man and if I knew then what I know now, it wouldn't have been so. Listen to insom's advice, it's really good. Also, you may consider the D.E.N.N.I.S System: