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comment by Aether_Storm
Aether_Storm  ·  3423 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: 20 years from now what will you have wish you had done?

Divorced my husband. My life would be better without him, but I still can't decide if my kids lives would be better, so I sit.





steve  ·  3423 days ago  ·  link  ·  

lil - any sage wisdom here?

lil  ·  3423 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks (maybe) for the shoutout, steve.

We don't have enough information to advise Aether_Storm sagely or otherwise. There's millions of reasons to stay and millions to leave. My guess is that when it gets bad enough A_Storm will make her move. I think I have a poem on that topic. Let me see if I can find it: When it gets bad enough we leave.

  We wrap our dreams around a man.
  Shoulder to shoulder we build our homes
  And hide our hearts in every niche
  But when it gets bad enough we leave.
  

  We leave when it gets bad enough.
  Not the first time we catch a punch
  Or see the kids cringe
  Or call the police
  But when it gets bad enough we leave.

  
  When it gets bad enough we leave
  For the kids at first
  Or for our lives
  In spite of love or lust or need
  When it gets bad enough we leave.

  
  Because by then we’re half-crazy
  And he’s spent all our money
  We’re always angry
  And it’s no longer funny
  And if, by then, we’re still on our feet
  When it gets bad enough we leave.

(of course if it is a domestic violence situation, I would say dump that chump yesterday - but that is also hard to do)

What do you think, Steve? Should I post a #todayswritingprompt on the topic of leaving?

steve  ·  3422 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Oh - I don't think she (nor I) was looking for advice. But I've always appreciated the wisdom and kindness you share in situations like this.

And based on your reply, mission accomplished.

Dejawon  ·  3423 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Now I won't say that you should divorce him. But remember that if you two do fight a lot and have big time issues it will affect the kids in a bad way, maybe even worse than a divorce might.