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comment by cgod
cgod  ·  4616 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Evil of Being "Normal"  ·  x 2
I hope that you do not take what I say as uncivil.
    Please, please, by whatever god or force you believe in, restrain yourself in the comments.
I am going to do nothing but openly and honestly express myself, don't post difficult stuff if you don't want somewhat difficult replies. I think what you are discussing has merit and is important. I will not invalidate your pain, but in the spirit of open and honest discussion I will challenge your "men's rights" thoughts.

Everyone's pain is equally valid, even if what they have suffered through isn't equal. The spoiled teen who doesn't get a car for Christmas when they turn 16 can feel more pain then the kid growing up unloved in a poor household who gets nothing. This doesn't mean that the spoiled teen has gone through greater tribulation then the unfortunate teen, it's just how they are/have been wired.

I have known people with normal problems who suffered to a much greater extent then people with totally fucked up horrible problems. I have known normal problem high suffering people who killed themselves and thought that it was probably the right move, life just wasn't for them. I don't say that cynically, I say it with compassion. I have been fond of and continually pained by these individuals inability to live the lives that I thought they could have realized.

    However, the common assumption about me, portrayed by the media (both "independent" and more conventional), is that I am a pig; that I am racist, sexist, constantly horny, and unable to express emotion.
Have you looked at how the media portrays everyone else? At least the media celebrates White male history month the other eleven months of the year, shows the guy in charge as a White guy, the hero of the movie as a White guy, the scientist (when he isn't a bumbling off brown guy with a funny accent) as a White guy, the rich guy is a White guy (as long as it isn't a rich drug dealer) and on and on. If you don't know that you are experiencing an easier life because of your race and sex it's time for you to take a closer look. Every one gets stereotyped and every once in a while the white stereotype bites in a painfully pale comparison to that of other races and sexes. But like I said above all pain is valid, even if the experience isn't all that similar. Not speaking from experience, but I think it would be worse if people automatically assumed you were hired help, dirty, a thief, were afriad when you got on a plane with them and on and on.

    I am told, both by special interest groups and by society at large, that I am a bad person.
Who? Really, I want to know. I am a middle age white guy of vague educational attainment, lower middle class background, but comfortable. I don't see or feel this pressure. I do generally put in charge of whatever needs doing when I am working with a bunch of brown co-workers. This is fucked up, and the guys I have worked with know it's fucked up. Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to resent me for co-worker wise, even if it isn't my fault.
    the fact that I have not suffered as much as others should make me feel bad; the fact that I'm the "majority" means that I am wrong. This is an inherently flawed viewed; its just as sexist, racist, and bigoted as any other type of discrimination.
Actually this passage here is flawed for exactly the things I was talking about above. It's not inherently flawed, our society is still racist as hell and if you were brown you would be pissed off about it, you might even resent White people to some extent, that resentment probably has some good justification. Feel free to disagree, I think I used to think on lines not too far from the ones you are working on and over time my position, as I have seen plenty more racist shit all over the place has changed. I have thought more then once how glad I am to be a White guy raising a White daughter so I don't have to worry about how she would be treated by educators, the police, her peers, her boss and society in general, cause being White is easier.

    Do you think that perhaps victimization is the new way to compete?
No. We have always been that way. There are the two strains, pity my cause I got it bad, and well it at least I don't got it as bad as that guy. Listen to some old blues or county records, people always been pissing and moaning and getting attention for it.

Brief aside. I remember sitting around drinking and smoking with some people I met near my work. Every one was going around that table telling the stories of and showing the scars from their most sever misfortunes, laying it on thick. after four or five people told their embellished tale this one fella reaches under the table and whips off his prosthetic leg, slams it down on the middle of the table. No one know he was shy a flipper walked/ran as smoothly as anyone. Guy was pleased as could be at the reaction, he "won".

Anyway. You can be bummed out about your "normal" problems and how people portray your normalcy or you can get on with what ever it is that helps you happily while away the time. If you are worried about how the media (toothpaste and car salesmen to a man, nothing to do with any significant truth for the most part) are representing you then you should probably try and find a way to free yourself of that bullshit. You might want to realize that you are living in a relatively easy place to get along in, and are one of the blessed White males. Sure life is hard even for us the chosen people at times, but mostly harder to be other then what we are.

I am sorry that I forgot to capitalize Brown when referring to people, I don't feel like going back and finding every lapse, my academic habits are a bit rusty and it's lazy and poor form, but I'll let it stand. I probably missed a few Whites as well, but hey we don't really need the extra capitalization, were doing alright as it is.