a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by Foveaux

Interesting question. You've made me put off eating dinner to think about this!

One one side of the coin I can see where he's coming from. I'm just a man going about my business surviving each day, accumulating money and so on. Eventually I may have children of my own, try and raise them successfully and they'll continue doing the same thing. From a biological perspective it seems both completely pointless but also it's my only reason for existing - to make more of me.

So not only do I see where he's coming from, but my life has been great thus far. Sure I'm on anti-depressants but they (along with incredible support) saved me and brought me back to the track I was on before. By and large things are looking mighty fine to me. So how the hell do I convince someone who existence thus far has been awful? I don't think I could.

On the other side of the coin, I have developed my own reason for existence and I go about that each day. So my perspective is going to be quite different from him. I feel like this would make things all the more difficult in my quest to keep him alive.

Say he was on the ledge of bridge, ready to jump off. I'd stop him if I could, try and talk him down. Hell I'd tackle him off the edge if it was a plausible way of getting him down unharmed.

But convince him life is worth living? And that the world isn't as miserable as he believes? I doubt my ability too. He could question why I even bother trying to save him; and I would respond with "I don't want you to die. I would be unhappy if you died". I can say that honestly, and he wouldn't believe me. Also as I'm thinking about this, I realize that bringing myself into the situation does seem to be a bit more ego-centric that some would recommend but fuck it, this guy doesn't care about himself. I have to try every venture before he jumps off. I'll make it about me, I'll make it about his family (though I doubt that would elicit anything positive given his current state), I'll make it about the people having to look for his body when I go and tell people about it. I'd try and make him angry, although that would be very unlikely to work. I'd offer him a beer and a feed at a local pub so we can discuss things - or sit in silence, whatever he prefers. Shit I'll sit in a different booth if that's what he wants.

In the end I'm sure he would still jump. Someone going through life like this wouldn't take in anything I'm saying or trying to do.

But do I still try? Absolutely. I'm not one to bow down when there's no chance of success.





user-inactivated  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's an interesting response. Thank you. I'm glad I've made you interested enough to put off eating.

Can you share what is it you live for? I'll understand if you won't.

Foveaux  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  

Of course! I guess it's a large combination of things though, definitely not one thing.

I wake up each morning with a strong urge to.. I dunno. Get things done. I wake up and the first thing on my mind is "There's work to do". Be it go to the gym, play all my various sports, actually go to my job, go be social etc. I think it's all of my interests rolled in together. I have so many things I enjoy doing, and that would likely be why I would fail at convincing this person out of his belief; we're just too dissimilar, I don't have the experience he does and I can only use examples from my own, very positive life.

Today for example, I woke up, went to the gym and busted through my routine. Came home, had some breakfast and a protein shake. Had a shower and washed my hair cause I'm getting a haircut after work and I know it'll make the job easier for them. Head down to work, listening to my "strut" playlist (these are all songs I feel good listening to). I get to work, do my thing, converse with people, get a little shitty at times, and then eventually it's the end of the day and it's Friday here so yay! I went out to get my haircut down the street, then joined up with the workmates for a Friday beer. After that I came home, organized dinner and then checked Hubski and saw your fascinating post. Now I've had dinner, am looking at some art I've been working on thinking I really need to finish that before I see my brother in November. And I'm also setting up a date tomorrow with a friend, going to the SPCA to play with the kitties.

Outside of that; I'll organize my music and find some new artists, maybe watch a movie if something cool is available (I go alone most of the time, it's easier for me to get immersed that way), practice for rugby, go see my friends elsewhere in the city. If the weather is crap I'll jump on some games on Steam and shoot things, cruise Hubski and see what Reddit has to offer. Work on art some and get new ideas. Read! Reading is a great escape for me, I'm going through the Wheel of Time and also all of Brandon Sanderson's works and I truly get lost for hours.

If my city isn't really doing it for me, I can go for a drive. 3 hours away is Queenstown http://imgur.com/gallery/czFv5Dy , where I used to live and just a truly stunning place to be; alone or with friends. New Zealand is a truly small place, everything is so local and at hand (despite being an Island).

Sorry this is truly rambling, I guess I just wanted to convey somehow that it's so many things that I live for. All these little things come together and get me out of bed, I love doing everything and I have so many things to keep me occupied that in the odd weekend where I have nothing to do, I'll feel fine about sleeping till noon.

I try and be appreciative for everything I have, and posts like yours bring to the forefront how good life is for me - so thank you for that at the very least!

user-inactivated  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're welcome. I'm not often thanked for asking questions, I must admit.

I'd like you to take part in a thought experiment now; I think you might find it peculiar. Imagine yourself in a less than pleasant place in life. You know yourself; what would the current you say to the different, less-than-happy you? How would you cheer this person up and get them up to current-you's speed?

Foveaux  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  
This comment has been deleted.
user-inactivated  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Holy shit, man. This is amazing. The care, the respect and the conviction you put into your less fortunate self is inspiring and is awesome to listen to. Thank you for sharing this.

May I ask what "Takina te hoe kia Rite" means? I wasn't able to google its meaning - only its translation, and it's vague.

Foveaux  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thank you for the kind words, I just hope I did the question justice, you've been making me think quite a bit!

Ah it's a Maori motto, at my old College - it means "Wield the paddle together". You're never alone, we row the boat as one etc. Family is very important in my culture.

user-inactivated  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I see. Thank you for the explanation.

briandmyers  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Foveaux  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hahaha yus!

This will always be my go too Kiwi beat though...

briandmyers  ·  3377 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Choice